On last night's Toddlers & Tiaras, one woman was upset that her 8-year-old daughter no longer fit into her $1,200 custom-made dress, so she put her on a strict, all-fruit diet for the week leading up to the pageant.

Isn't it standard for 8-year-old children to "get bigger"? Isn't that called growing? When it was time for the swimsuit portion of Alyssa's pageant, she desperately wanted to do a "snorkel dance" because she thinks it's fun. But when her mother saw her do the snorkel dance on stage, she freaked out, saying, "That move is way too young for Alyssa, and that's something that you would never do wearing heels and swimsuit." Um, actually, Alyssa is way too young for heels and swimsuit. The snorkel dance is completely age appropriate.


At least Alyssa has art as an outlet to deal with her feelings about her mother.


But sometimes she does get physical.


Are you ready to have your heart broken? Alyssa thinks she's a "loser" for getting second runner-up.

Send an email to Tracie, the author of this post, at tracie@jezebel.com.