Life & Style
"Kim: I'm Having A Baby."
Talk about cover lies: Kim Kardashian is NOT pregnant. Inside, the mag says: "If all goes according to plan, Kim WILL be pregnant by next October." Next: Are Joel Madden and Nicole Richie married? An insider says the story is 100% false. No secret ceremony! In the "Countdown To New Moon" story, this sentence is key: "With fewer than 20 days until the sequel's release on Nov. 20, bloodthirsty fans are working themselves into a frenzy — and the cast is ready to bite back!" Oh! Rumor Vs. Truth: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are not engaged. But they are dating. They're staying on the same floor of the Sheraton Vancouver Wall Center, but they have separate 2 bedroom suites. Moving along… "How Britney Got Her Best Body Ever" is a tie-in to the cover line, "Easy Fat Burning Tricks." Guess what these tricks are? She's getting 8 hours of sleep a night, drinking a ton of water, eating three normal meals a day. And! She's doing 800 to 1000 crunches a day. Here's Sharon Osbourne on Karl Lagerfeld, who recently said "No one wants to see curvy women." She says: "I have a really good plastic surgeon that could help him out with his face. My god he's ugly." Angelina Jolie has a "deep-seated fear of hugging." She told a British mag: "A handshake is all I can handle from people who aren't close to me." An insider says: "Angelina doesn't like her personal space to be invaded. She just has to have it on her terms. She has to decide who will hug or kiss her, and when." Um, that sounds reasonable? Uncertainly and stress about Justin Timberlake are making Jessica Biel drop pounds. The reason? "After more than two years, Justin still hasn't put a ring on it." Also, the mag points out: "Her butt's vanished." (See image 7.) The "Surprising Celebrity Couples" box includes Halle Berry and Donny Wood, Brad Pitt and Christina Applegate, and a picture of a kitten and a chick. (See image 8.) Gisele Bunchen is having a girl, and will decorate the nursery in cream and seafoam green. Victoria Beckham picked her son up from school wearing a $18,726 outfit. (See image 9.) Lastly, in an interview with Amber Riley, aka Mercedes from Glee, she says: "You're not your dress size. You're not your shoe size. You're not your pants size. If I'm going to wear a name tag, it's going to say 'Amber Riley," not 'Fat Girl.'"
Grade: D- (marrying a cult member)