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By Dodai Stewart Oct 14, 2009 2:20 PM 48,187

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This Week In Tabloids: Lindsay’s Coke- & Booze-Fueled Suicide Allegations

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I harvest gossip from the fields of Ok!, In Touch, Life & Style, Us and Star. Ahead, a cornucopia of "news" about the Jolie-Pitt chaos, TonKat's crisis and Lindsay's wrists.

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Celebrity, Sex, Fashion for Women

tweet beat 899 58,483 Is Taylor Armstrong Tweeting Compliments to Herself?
dirt bag 748 3,503 Gwyneth Paltrow Goes All Out For Blue Ivy’s Baby Gift
squee 288 4,952 Baby Bear and Wolf Cub are The Cutest Best Friends You’ll Ever See
dessert 249 13,328 Cupcakes Are Ruining Everything
good/bad/ugly 229 391,568 Fashion Week Begins, and Lindsay Lohan Is a Stain on the Red Carpet
dirt bag 197 42,735 Adele Doesn’t Give a Fat Fuck What Karl Lagerfeld Thinks About Her Body
breast intentions 170 21,424 Breasts Make Excellent Puppets [NSFW]
racism 158 11,030 Misguided Idiot in Black Face Asks BYU Students About Black History
downton abbey 156 15,636 Downton Abbey’s O’Brien Is a Total Babe
dating 152 5,422 Do You Keep Underwear In Your Purse?
doctors 151 9,959 Is Your Doctor a Big Fat Liar?
sex 145 6,742 Surprising Number of Married People Spice Up Sex Lives With Public Spanking
pill baby pill 133 2,072 Catholic Bishops Want Every Business Including Taco Bell to Be Free to Deny Birth Control Coverage
chelsea handler 132 27,783 Chelsea Handler Had an Abortion at 16 and Zero Regrets
social minefield 127 8,834 How to Act at Someone Else’s Church
weighty matters 113 14,749 Ballet Dancer Fired for Daring to Acknowledge Pressure to be Thin
education 109 7,052 School District Celebrates Black History Month With Boys-Only Movie Day
genderal interest 103 87,767 Why Do Men Love ‘Barely Legal’ Porn?
fashion show 101 7,293 Max Azria Would Like To See You In Color-Blocked Caftans This Fall
movies 100 3,891 Bridesmaids Is Still Breaking Records and Raking in Cash
comedy 90 7,528 The Artist’s Jean Dujardin To Be Cast as Villain in Every Movie
tv 90 1,343 RuPaul in ‘Dragton Abbey’
horrible 86 41,406 Did Libyan Video of a Journalist’s Rape Get Posted on YouTube? [Warning: Graphic Images]
roe v world 82 1,694 Kansas and Oklahoma Battle to See Which State is Considering Crappier Abortion Restrictions
politics 77 3,059 Some Cranky Guy at CPAC Says Rachel Maddow is Best Argument in Favor of Contraception
disgrace for the cure 77 19,362 Komen CEO Really Sad That Everyone’s Mad at Her