Ok!
"Stop Wrecking Our Lives!"
Please note that on the cover, Kate has her hand on her kid's head, and he is screaming. Anyway. All Margaret learned in this cover story was that Jon Gosselin went to a party called Millions Of Milkshakes, where he drank a milkshake and then headed to the Chateau Marmont, where he partied until 2 AM. Moving on: A source tells the mag that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel "bicker constantly" and are more like brother and sister — he complains about her dogs, her career choices and her TV shows. Jess is happy in sweats in now makeup, but Justin irons his T-shirts and follows her dogs around, wiping their paws. Next: After watching Pirates Of The Caribbean more than 10 times, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt wants to star in her own pirate movie. She would like her character's name to be Peter Pirate, and she goes around the house calling her siblings "matey" all the time. A source says: "She's got Brad wrapped around her little finger. And if she wants to star in a pirate film, he very well might make it happen." Shiloh told Brad the film must have "absolutely no ghosts or skeletons" because they scare her too much! Jennifer Aniston is taking "state-of-the art" prenatal vitamins religiously. She's excited because they're making her hair grow and look shiny. She's "preparing for her biggest role yet: Being a mom." There are no details about how this will happen. Magic? One night stand? IVF? A-Rod called Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell and asked if they would give their blessing if he asked Kate Hudson to marry him. Goldie is torn, knowing A-Rod's rep. But she also knows Kate is an adult. Anyway: A-Rod is planning to propose around New Year's. In Aspen. Because he wants to do it in front of a fireplace with snow falling outside. Propose, that is.
Grade: D (cow pie)