Florida's Polk County school district recently placed a ban on all sexually suggestive dancing, claiming that "booty dancing" was inappropriate on school grounds, which led me to reminisce about the hilariously inappropriate songs played at my middle school dances.
69 Boyz-Tootsie Roll I was in 7th grade when "Tootsie Roll" hit the radio, and it was the jaaaaaaam as far as my 13-year-old peers were concerned. Any dance that provides instructions is going to be a hit with kids, as you can look like you know your shit simply by copying the moves explicitly laid out for you in the lyrics. Being a wallflower, I was the type who actually sat on the side and ate Tootsie Roll Pops as opposed to actually doing to Tootsie Roll, but I nodded my head and laughed as my friends hit the floor and executed it perfectly. Did they all run off and have sex immediately afterward? No. Sometimes, believe it or not, kids are just dancing. Did teachers make sure people weren't dancing too close or being too sexual about it? Yes. I suppose you have to find the line between letting kids express themselves and letting kids essentially hump on the dance floor.
Freak Nasty-Da Dip Da Dip was problematic in my school as it required "putting your hand upon my hip." The teachers were not having that. You could do "da dip" at my middle school dances as long as you did it by yourself. Still: the lyrics! I can't believe they played this AT SCHOOL! Good lord.
Ini Kamoze- Here Comes The Hotstepper Ah, "Here Comes The Hotstepper." As I'm typing this, I can't stop laughing at the mental image of my entire middle school on the dance floor, screaming "murderer!" as our teachers frowned all around us. I'm not sure what my middle school administrators were thinking, but I assume that as long as nobody danced too close or got too suggestive on the dance floor, we could scream murderer and get down to whatever song the DJ happened to play.
Ace Of Base- All That She Wants I still have no idea what this song is about. "All that she wants, is another baby!" Does that mean she wants another boyfriend? Another child? We had no idea what this song was about when we danced to it in 1994, and I'm still confused.
Naughty By Nature- O.P.P. I'm guessing that most of our teachers didn't know what "O.P.P." stood for. Either that, or they assumed we didn't.
Color Me Badd- I Wanna Sex You Up I have no idea why DJs thought "I Wanna Sex You Up" was appropriate school dance music, but they always played it. I have always, always hated this song. This is the song that would come on the radio while you were in the car with your parents on the way to McDonald's or something and it would make you want to crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment. I am cringing right now, actually. I don't know if it's residual trauma or because the song is just cringeworthy as it is.
House Of Pain- Jump Around Jump Around was always the most popular song at the dance, because even those of us who were terrible dancers could muster up the energy to, you know, jump around.
Los Del Rio- The Macarena Of course, there are some dances that, despite vaguely suggestive lyrics, are always considered "family-friendly." The Macarena, which was all over the place by the time I hit 8th grade, is one of those dances. Our teachers were doing it! Our parents were doing it! Our 4-year-old siblings were doing it! No wonder we begged the DJ to play the Tootsie Roll.
While I can certainly see the logic behind banning overtly sexual dancing on the floor at school functions, like I said earlier, I think there needs to be a balance between letting kids dance and letting kids get all up on one another. What do you think, commenters? Should certain dances be banned? Certain songs? Feel free to add your input, as well as your school dance anthems and memories, in the comments.