This Week In Tabloids: Justin & Rihanna Plan Hookup; Kardashian Wedding "World Exclusive"Dodai Stewart9/30/09 2:00pmFiled to: Midweek Madnessthis week in tabloidsJustin TimberlakerihannaStarIn TouchUsok!Life & StyleKelly OsbourneDancing With the StarsMariah CareyNick CannonJennifer AnistonBrad PIttAngelina JolieGawkerDefamerTop1132EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkWelcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I "read" In Touch, Star, Life & Style, Us and Ok!. This week we learned that JT and Rihanna are on, dancing makes you thin, and bridesmaid dresses shouldn't be skin-tight.Life & Style "Slim Down Super Fast." Did you know that if you dance all day instead of working at a desk, you can lose weight? Kelly Osbourne says now that she's on Dancing With The Stars: "I do five hours of rehearsals a day — sometimes even six." Debi Mazar says: "I've lost 11 pounds, and I've noticed my body toning in weird areas — my bra bulge is gone." This six-page extravaganza of peeps who lost weight dancing includes Mya — who was "soft" but is now "toned"; Kathy Ireland, who was "full-figured" but is now "foxy" and model Joanna Krupa, who was "thin" and is now "athletic." Moving on: In a poll titled "Who'd You Want To Be Frisked By?" Jon Hamm wins with 42%! (See image 7). The "cutest Jolie-Pitt pics ever" involve Shiloh buying snacks and making faces. "Perpetually single" Jennifer Aniston found herself in a "sticky situation" because Brad Pitt, John Mayer and Gerard Butler were ALL in New York City AT THE SAME TIME. Imagine that: Being on the same island with all of your exes! And 1.4 million other people! According to handy map provided, John Mayer was downtown in his apartment; Brad was uptown at the Essex House and Gerard ate at a restaurant in Tribeca. DRAMZ. Lastly: "Real" "Housewife" Kim Zolciak would like for America to know that she has never been a stripper: "I'm honest about the fact that I'm dating a married man," she says. "If I'd been a stripper, why wouldn't I tell you?" About her hair, she says: "I have great hair. It's shoulder-length, and it's the same color as most of my wigs. I have naturally black hair, but I bleach it." Grade: F (runaway bride/missing groom)ShareTweet Kinja is in read-only mode. We are working to restore service.