Last night at Bryant Park, Custo Barcelona looked ready to pull a Sophie Theallet and show its spring collection on an all-black cast; black models wore the first dozen-odd looks. But unfortunately, while runway diversity is hot, these clothes are...not.

Many of the clothes, in fact, looked as though they were constructed out of stapled-together doilies, with a load of rick-rack and reams of 70s-lampshade bobbled fringe for added oomph.

There were even doily coats — with feather trims — to match the doily dresses.

And outrageous his 'n' hers ensembles, for the couple with what might kindly be called "confidence."

And, for those who feel that women get to keep the fun of all-lace ensembles too much to themselves, Custo Barcelona offers this powder-blue patched lace two-button suit.

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The collection as a whole looked very much like things your palm-reading aunt might make out of her curtains. The trailing hem of this asymmetrical offering even cause Alice Gibb to stumble slightly during her last turn on the runway.

OK, things your palm-reading aunt might make out of her curtains, plus a cringe-worthy quantity of trims.

There were even dresses made, mummy-style, entirely from trims. Versatile!

Craft project gone wrong.

This is like a Prada warrior dress from fall 2009, sissified and dolled up.

And for those men who desire shiny suits in a microchip print, Custo's got you covered.

Doilies, feathers, rick-rack, and fringe, oh my: it's a wonder Rose Cordero could keep a straight face on the catwalk.