In an article titled "Top 10 Signs You're Too Good For Her," writer Jason Moore lets all the bros know when it's time to let a girlfriend go:
No.10 - You're always dumbing down conversations around her
And it's not just her — it's her entire social universe. Her friends, her family and her coworkers all seem to have an extremely limited vocabulary, one that contains more four-letter expletives than a U.S. Army boot camp. If your cat can match her wit, it's one of the signs you're too good for her.
Ok, look. Nobody is saying that you need to (or should) stay with someone who doesn't stimulate you intellectually, but being smarter than someone doesn't necessarily make you better than they are. This isn't a case of someone not being "good enough" for you; it's just a case of someone not being the right match. I'm sure there's some oh-so-lucky lady out there who can match wits and pretentiousness with you, bro. Trust.
No.9 - She f*cks like a porn star
Sure, we all have those fantasies, but if your woman is taking you into uncharted territory that has serious repercussions for personal safety, there's a good chance it's a sign you're too good for her. No limits or boundaries in the intimate sphere means serious problems with self-respect and control in general. Sure the sex will be mind-blowing, but you'll never know where she's been or even how she learned her maneuvers, which can only mean one thing…
And you know what that "one thing" is, ladies! You're a total slut! Being skilled in bed, confident in one's sexuality and enjoying mixing things up a bit obviously means that you're a big ol' whore with a self-esteem problem, and Captain 2Good4U can't handle it. You are just too good at sex, and that means you're a terrible, terrible person. It couldn't possibly mean that your dumbass boyfriend isn't good enough to keep up with you, could it? Naw, that couldn't be. Men who are good in bed are studs, and women who are good in bed are filthy tramps who aren't worth the Axe bodyspray, right brah?
No.8 - None of your friends like her
Your friends don't like her and they seem to have independently verified, double-blind proof, that she's awful. You've spent a lot of time cultivating your social circle to serve as just this type of guard when you're in completely over your head, so trust your safety net. If she can't make simple conversation with your friends, it's a sign you're too good for her.
This is somewhat legit, in that often times, when people don't get along with their partner's social circle, there are problems. But using "bros before hos" as a means to gauge whether or not someone is "good enough" for you is a fairly juvenile solution. And if you need your friends to tell you that your girlfriend is "awful," you probably need to work on your own relationship skills.
No.7 - You're always encouraging her
If, on a regular basis, you find yourself encouraging your girlfriend to go out and really experience life outside the couch or mall, you're in all likelihood too good for her. There are certain people for whom ambition or enthusiasm for the future are just plain anathema. You're not going to be her catalyst and all you're doing now is wasting valuable energy and focus that you should be spending on your own life.
Again, this is more about a mismatch than being "too good" for someone. And not for nothing, but it might be a drag to have a boyfriend who finds it such a bitch to be supportive and understanding, which may account for her general lack of enthusiasm.
No.6 - She can't pay for anything
When it comes time to pick up the check for a dinner, a movie or just about anything else the two of you are undertaking she is nowhere to be found. There are two types of women for whom this is a problem: The first is just oblivious to the fact that she should actually pitch into the relationship. The second is just without the ability and just doesn't seem to have any income. Life's too short to waste time on either of them.
Ugh, poor people, am I right? It's not that she's cheap—she's broke, bro! That is like, the worst, man. I mean, why would anyone waste their time on a genuinely good person if said person can't even afford shots at T.J. McThursdaytown? You can't be seen riding around in your pimped out Toyota Corolla, blasting the latest Asher Roth, with some broke-ass chick in the passenger seat. It's a total no-go, bro. No go fo' sho.
No.5 - She's amazed by what you take for granted
At a certain point in life, certain realities set in and some things are just taken for granted. After college, a paycheck certainly falls into this category. If your girlfriend is dumbstruck by your ability to garner income, you're staring into the abyss of someone who cannot hold a job. This may be a warning sign of future problems.
Other things that she's awestruck by include paying bills, utilities or credit cards on a monthly basis. These should all let you know you're too good for her.
Again, we go back to the idea that women are dumb, immature, and lacking basic life skills. You should kick her to the curb, bro. Because if you don't, she might end up broke, and well, we know what a buzzkill that is, right?
No.4 - She has poor hygiene
If you've noticed on numerous occasions that there is a certain unpleasant odor emanating from your betrothed, it may be time to move on. Some people are merely untidy while others endanger your health. You can try mentioning in passing that there seems to be something amiss, but by and large, you're going to be facing a recurring and uphill battle if you want her to change.
First of all, "betrothed" means that she's already your fiance. She may be stank, but you already asked her to marry you, even though you find her disgusting, so it looks like you're the one with crap manners.
No.3 - She is devoid of natural curiosity
The universe is a strange and mysterious place. Every day you come across phenomena that nearly cry out for further explanation. At least you thought so, until you met your current girlfriend. If you've been together for a while and you've never heard her mention travel or a book she has read, you're in trouble. Conversations based upon first-hand experience from your day are both powerfully limiting and dull.
Have you noticed that every "tip" seems to revolve around the fact that some women just can't keep up with this dude's intellectually superior rock and roll lifestyle? At this point I'm just concerned about him. He seems to have issues getting over the dumb, broke, poorly smelling one who got away.
No.2 - She gets into trouble with the law
There is a time when authority figures are challenged and boundaries are defined. It's called adolescence. It's when your juvenile record can be sealed and expunged. If she's still shoplifting or finding herself on the business side of a DUI conviction, that's just reckless and is endangering your future. It shows that she hasn't developed a sense of what is right or wrong, nor does she have any respect for the possessions of others.
Is it me, or is the language here really creepy? Sure, he's talking about breaking the law, but the disdain he has for women who seemingly don't "know their place" is fairly evident, and ties in with the "she's too good in bed" tip. I'm not saying that we should all start dating criminals, but the way this guy talks about women who take control or break rules, be they laws or sexual taboos, as disrespectful and wrong, is quite telling.
No.1 - Her best asset is her looks
Relationships are a growing concern. You're supposed to find other qualities that endear her to you beyond the initial physical attraction. If you haven't found anything like that and in fact have found many qualities that the good looks are covering up for, then you're too good for her. You need to move on and find someone else. If you don't, you're selling yourself short. Strike out in a new direction and find someone who is both physically attractive as well as your equal or better in the other 98% of life.
She's too pretty, which means you're way too good for her. Obviously!
While there are some decent arguments to be made here, namely that relationships need to be based on more than looks, that couples should enjoy spending time together, and that money troubles often pull couples apart, the way this writer approaches these concepts is all wrong. His sense of superiority, aside from being irritating, also shows a self-centered approach to dating (and to life, really): it seems as though no one will ever be good enough for this dude, and when women are too good at something, he feels they need to be knocked down a peg. Perhaps this dude should just come right out and say it: it's not that women aren't "good enough" for him, it's just that's he's too in love with himself to admit that anyone else has any redeeming qualities whatsoever. But don't worry, dude. You'll always have your bros. And bromance, they say, is the greatest love of all.