Life & Style
"Get Thin Fast"
This story is a giant ad for QuickTrim, a diet supplement found at GNC. Khloe and Kim Kardashian, who pose with a measuring tape wrapped around their bellies, will appear in ads for the pill. Moving on: "Stabbed In The Heart" is the title of the Jessica Simpson story, but she was not actually stabbed, people. Tony Romo is dating Candice Crawford, the Gossip Girl guy's sister. Here, you'll find a whole bunch of stuff about how unlucky in love Jessica is. A "friend" of Jess's says: "Does it add insult to injury that this girl is younger and slimmer? Sure." Next, more secrets from Sex And The City 2 : There will be a gay wedding between Stanford and Anthony Marentino! Liza Minnelli will be there! Carrie will have '80s flashback scenes! Samantha copes with menopause! A trip to Morocco! Miranda gets a new job! And, even though SJP had her mole removed, Carrie still has hers, through the magic of makeup. Next: Scheana Marie Jancan claims she had a three-year affair with Eddie Cibrian, and when he started up with LeAnn Rimes, he just stopped calling Scheana. She says: "Eddie's with LeAnn now, but it's just a fling. Eddie cheated on Brandi, he cheated on me, he's going to do it again." Pete Wentz is fighting to save his marriage to Ashlee Simpson: She's been getting "too drunk" in public and she's smoking a lot and "thinner than ever." An "insider" says: "She's so thin, she's lost her boobs. She's just an A cup now." Poor thing, no reason to live! There are a few pix here from Michael Jackson's funeral on September 3 — his kids put a crown on his coffin and guest had to wait for an hour for the ceremony to start, because Katherine Jackson was too emotional to get ready. Jon Gosselin has lost 15 lbs. by cutting out fried foods and soft drinks. Unsolicited uterus update: "My uterus is really flattered that everyone cares, but sorry, no occupants." — Anna Paquin. Jennifer Aniston was spotted wearing a gold Rolex that John Mayer gave her, so it's totally secret signal! Plus they have been talking and texting. "Robert: I Want To Disappear" is about how Mr. Pattinson used to be a nice guy but has become "moody and withdrawn" because being chased by Twihards is a rough way to live. "Even at the most remote places I can imagine, someone will ask me for a picture with them or an autograph. I haven't found one place in the world yet where I can disappear," he says. Lastly: "Melrose Place: Then And Now" is a plastic surgery wonderland! Dr. Rey thinks Daphne Zuniga needs Botox, fillers, an endoscopic brow lift, a mid-face lift and a lower eye lift. I like Heather Locklear's old nose. (See image 7)
Grade: D- (QuickTrim)