People is currently running a roundup of celebrity fragrance ads, featuring star-scent-stalwarts such as Sarah Jessica Parker, Jennifer Lopez, and Paris Hilton. While those are all well and good, it made me wish certain other celebrities also had signature scents.
Daria: The Fragrance
Smells Like: Exasperation, coffee, notebook paper, pizza, slightly bitter notes tempered with occasional bits of warmth
Bottle Style: A herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains. Well, either that or the creepy eye-spiral from "Sick Sad World."
Cost: Your soul, you sell-out. The world needs another celebrity fragrance like it needs another member of the Fashion Club.
Tagline: "Everything Stinks, And Now So Can You."
Tim Gunn: Make It Work
Smells Like: Clean, crisp notes, calming essences for times of crisis, hints of the Red Lobster to evoke happy memories of the past, done with impeccable taste, of course.
Bottle Style: Gunn, who holds a BFA in sculpture, could certainly come up with a creative bottle design.
Cost: Relatively affordable: Gunn has said in the past that "you don't have to spend a lot of money for fashion!"
Tagline: "Carry On!"
Eau De Joan
Smells Like: Cigarette smoke, vodka gimlets, broken hearts, warm, rich, mysterious notes: the kind strong enough to cover up a woman's secrets.
Bottle Style: Curvy and red.
Cost: Affordable enough to be purchased on a secretary's salary in 1963.
Tagline: Peggy Olson is working on it right now; we'll let you know.
Amy & Tina: Smells Belles
Smells Like: Hilarity, hints of lemon, multi-layered scents that adapt to the wearer's mood as a tribute to Fey and Poehler's ability to quickly move in and out of character, junk food, good times.
Bottle Style: Something both glamorous and funny.
Cost: Something you can earn with a lot of hard work, talent, and late nights at the office.
Tagline: "For Good Nights And Pleasant Tomorrows" or "Yeah, We Have A Scent...Jealous?!?"
Golden Girls: Stay Gold
Smells Like: Miami beaches, influences from Southern, Sicilian, and Norwegian-by-way-of-St. Olaf culture, friendship, romance, Zbornak-inspired bitterness, and, of course, cheesecake.
Bottle Style: Gold and sassy.
Cost: Let's just say that if you threw a party, and invited everyone you knew, someone would be able to afford it. Look for the biggest gift.
Tagline: "Thank You For Buying Our Scent."
What celebrity fragrances would you like to see? Feel free to design your own in the comments.