Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Ah, the Daytime Emmys: a beaded, glitzy bastion in a world of styled conventionality. Susan Lucci. Tyra Banks. Sandra Lee. And baubles, bangles, and beads: The Orpheum Theatre had it all!

Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Sandra Lee's semi-Barbie getup.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

You could really just look at Kate Linder and get an idea of the whole event: Atlantic City saloon madam with just a dash of Reaganomics!


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Like, where else could Rachel Zeskind wear this undersea fantasia? Besides one of those events where adults dress like Barbies? (I'm assuming there are events like that.)


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

In a sea of such wonders, it takes a lot to stand out. But I think Brenda Dickson's two forms of snakeskin make her a definite contender for "The Ugly!"


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Or is Lesley-Anne Down's floral bustle action even more noteworthy?


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Tonya Lee Williams cleverly satisfies the event's need for glitz and brightness, but without slipping into Vegas territory!


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Lena Baurley's dress says: why choose between a salsa club and a rave? You can have it all!


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Getty (mis?)identifies her as "The Wendy Williams." Or maybe that makes a certain kind of sense.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Karla Mosley's gown may be sparkle-nation, but its clean lines are refreshingly simple.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Rachael Ray looks appropriately Vegas. And appropriately, sports eggplant, easily prepared in 30 minutes.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Sharon Case opts for texture. And that's all I'll say.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Portia de Rossi's verges on the dreary. Under the circumstances, I'll take it.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

I'd almost like to see Molly Burnett's Frankenstein-frock on the Project Runway block. I can just imagine Nina's expression.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Oh, in case you missed it, Rachel Melvin's gown has an enormous rosette on the bodice.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Lori Loughlin: we get it. It's only so often that you get a chance to live out those "Peaches and Cream Barbie" fantasies.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

You know what Lesli Kay's nightmare wedding gown needs? A single beaded epaulet on one shoulder.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

I'm wondering if, say, Agyness Deyn could sport Chrishell Stause's dress and everyone would applaud it as ironic. It would be an interesting experiment, actually.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

It says a lot that Tatyana Ali's gown, which objectively evokes a strip of film, looks like a model of elegant restraint.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Quite digging Jennie Garth's bold color and demure cut.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Wait, wasn't Tyra Banks going to start wearing her hair natural? Although gotta say I like the 60's-inflected little frock.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

It's too bad all the really big belts were sold before Elizabeth Hendrickson showed up.


Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

Really, Susan Lucci never disappoints!

Death, Taxes, & Daytime Emmys: Reassuringly Tacky!

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