Ah, the Daytime Emmys: a beaded, glitzy bastion in a world of styled conventionality. Susan Lucci. Tyra Banks. Sandra Lee. And baubles, bangles, and beads: The Orpheum Theatre had it all!

Sandra Lee's semi-Barbie getup.


You could really just look at Kate Linder and get an idea of the whole event: Atlantic City saloon madam with just a dash of Reaganomics!


Like, where else could Rachel Zeskind wear this undersea fantasia? Besides one of those events where adults dress like Barbies? (I'm assuming there are events like that.)


In a sea of such wonders, it takes a lot to stand out. But I think Brenda Dickson's two forms of snakeskin make her a definite contender for "The Ugly!"


Or is Lesley-Anne Down's floral bustle action even more noteworthy?


Tonya Lee Williams cleverly satisfies the event's need for glitz and brightness, but without slipping into Vegas territory!


Lena Baurley's dress says: why choose between a salsa club and a rave? You can have it all!


Getty (mis?)identifies her as "The Wendy Williams." Or maybe that makes a certain kind of sense.


Karla Mosley's gown may be sparkle-nation, but its clean lines are refreshingly simple.


Rachael Ray looks appropriately Vegas. And appropriately, sports eggplant, easily prepared in 30 minutes.


Sharon Case opts for texture. And that's all I'll say.


Portia de Rossi's verges on the dreary. Under the circumstances, I'll take it.


I'd almost like to see Molly Burnett's Frankenstein-frock on the Project Runway block. I can just imagine Nina's expression.


Oh, in case you missed it, Rachel Melvin's gown has an enormous rosette on the bodice.


Lori Loughlin: we get it. It's only so often that you get a chance to live out those "Peaches and Cream Barbie" fantasies.


You know what Lesli Kay's nightmare wedding gown needs? A single beaded epaulet on one shoulder.


I'm wondering if, say, Agyness Deyn could sport Chrishell Stause's dress and everyone would applaud it as ironic. It would be an interesting experiment, actually.


It says a lot that Tatyana Ali's gown, which objectively evokes a strip of film, looks like a model of elegant restraint.


Quite digging Jennie Garth's bold color and demure cut.


Wait, wasn't Tyra Banks going to start wearing her hair natural? Although gotta say I like the 60's-inflected little frock.


It's too bad all the really big belts were sold before Elizabeth Hendrickson showed up.


Really, Susan Lucci never disappoints!

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