ZOMG! Michelle Obama has worn shorts in public. How will the other nations respect us now that they've seen our First Lady's knees?!!?

I hate writing about idiotic non-issues that are taking up valuable news time. Seriously?

Let's look at the facts:

• The first lady was on vacation
• hiking the Grand Canyon
• in 106 degree heat
• coming back to 95 degree DC swap heat
• and stepping off a plane

But, no - apparently, this is a major issue.

So now I'm writing open letters.

Dear Huffington Post:

I hope you meant this as a joke.





Don't encourage this.

-Latoya

Dear Today Show:

Five minutes? Really? And you found two people willing to wake up and go on your show to talk about Michelle's shorts? At least your host expressed a "WTF?" on the air.

-Latoya

Dear Robin Givhan:

Yes, press photos are important. But no one ever made as big of a deal of Dubya bending over all the time while clearing brush. A candid is a candid, let's move on. It's not like she showed up in shorts to a state dinner.

-Latoya

Dear Americans who actually voted in these polls/tuned into specifically watch shorts commentary:

You better not be the same mofos forwarding around emails about Muslim invasions forcing everyone to cover up and wear burkinis. Check yourself: You are asking if it is appropriate for a woman to wear shorts. She's a grown ass woman! She covered her arms, what more do you want? I am sick of this madness. Don't let me see you in the street, because I'm smacking people on principle.

-Latoya

Dear Universe,

For the fuck of shit.

-Latoya

Dear Jesus,

Why are you punishing me? I want to concentrate on Sin Nombre, border crossing, if we're thinking about health care reform the wrong way, manga fashion, and vegan soul cooking. Why is this a news item? I know you're shrugging at me, but still - can you please put this on the official record? I tried, Jesus, I tried to talk about interesting things but I was smited by the news industrial complex and their insatiable need to scrutinize every part of Michelle Obama until she snaps and ends up on Lifetime.

-Latoya

Michelle Obama's Shorts: Does The First Lady Have The Right To Bare Legs? (PHOTOS, POLL) [Huffington Post]
First Lady's Fashions Pushing the Envelope? [Today Show/MSNBC]

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