Our National SexyFace Nightmare ContinuesS

About five months ago, I called on the actresses of the world to perhaps consider laying off the SexyFace for a minute. Well, guess what, America? SexyFace is still alive and kicking, and it's not just for the ladies anymore.

Our National SexyFace Nightmare ContinuesS

SexyFace File #128: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, May 9, 2009 If SexyFace had an Olympics, J-Lo would be its Michael Phelps. And now, it seems, her husband has taken up SexyFace as well. This picture is just too SexyFace for Milan, New York and Japan.


Our National SexyFace Nightmare ContinuesS

SexyFace File #647: Heidi Montag, May 13, 2009. It's not surprising that SexyFace was on full display at a party for Maxim magazine, where opening your mouth and deadening your eyes is practically a requirement to get that "hot" cover shot down. But this is especially offensive as it's an affront to Team Cake. Boo-urns!


Our National SexyFace Nightmare ContinuesS

SexyFace Case File #527: Scarlett Johansson, March 24, 2009 In fairness, I had to go all the way back to March to find a SexyFace picture of Scarlett. Her recent red carpet pics are all smiles. Mine would be, too, if I was married to Ryan Reynolds.


Our National SexyFace Nightmare ContinuesS

SexyFace Case File #321: Megan Fox, August 9, 2009: Ah, Megan Fox, currently the Patron Saint of SexyFace. This picture was taken at the Teen Choice Awards, mind you. Because if you need to be sexy anywhere, it's at a Nickelodeon awards ceremony.


Our National SexyFace Nightmare ContinuesS

SexyFace Case File #322: Robert Pattinson, August 9, 2009 I can't tell if this is SexyFace or StonedFace. I think it might be both. It also might be SparklyFace. The jury is still out.


Our National SexyFace Nightmare ContinuesS

SexyFace Case File #189: Beyonce Knowles, June 21, 2009. Don't think I didn't notice that Sasha Fierce and Sexy Face have the same initials.


Our National SexyFace Nightmare ContinuesS

SexyFace Case File #787: Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie, August 10, 2009: Angelina is just about to laugh in this picture. This is because she's just caught a glimpse of her partner, Bradley, making a hardcore SexyFace at the camera.


Our National SexyFace Nightmare ContinuesS

SexyFace Case File #120: Joe Jonas, June 19, 2009 Your little sister is printing this picture out RIGHT NOW.


Our National SexyFace Nightmare ContinuesS

SexyFace Case File #377: Katy Perry, July 28, 2009. Apparently, SexyFace is what you get for Waking Up in Vegas.


Our National SexyFace Nightmare ContinuesS

SexyFace Case File #489: Ed Westwick, June 18, 2009. I don't think Chuck Bass would approve of such nonsense, do you?


Our National SexyFace Nightmare ContinuesS

SexyFace Case File #098: Paris Hilton, July 29, 2009 Qualifications for being Paris' BFF include a love of small dogs, the phrase "That's Hot" and SexyFace.


Our National SexyFace Nightmare ContinuesS

SexyFace Case File #456: Miss Piggy: Oh, Miss Piggy, not you, too!


Our National SexyFace Nightmare ContinuesS

SexyFace Case File #007: George Clooney Ok, so this isn't SexyFace at all. But it is a sexy face. This is how it's done, people!

[All Images via Getty.]