Charlize Theron Drinks Like A Fish, Swears Like A Sailor, Will Call You A Lesbian

A few paragraphs into the Vogue feature on Charlize Theron, the head of her film division, Beth Kono, says, "Charlize actually is a man."

Kono is kidding, of course, but the fact remains that this profile portrays Charlize as the kind of woman who is busy (in addition to her production company, Denver & Delilah Films, Charlize runs the Africa Outreach Project); bawdy (she calls the eyebrows she had in North Country "sperm brows"); and brassy: when a large group of Arab-American women — mothers and daughters celebrating a graduation — see her on the restaurant patio where the Vogue interview is being conducted, they come over to say "We are in love here! We think you're beautiful." Charlize responds: "Stop it, you lesbians." Kevin Conley writes that she says it "in a way that is both loud and bawdy and shy and flattered."

Naturally, because no story about Charlize is complete without it, Vogue mentions that back in 1991, Charlize's mother shot and killed her father. (Charlize on the incident: "That became my fucking tattoo." Yes, Vogue allows the word fucking.)

So. We learn many delightful things about Charlize — including the fact that she is working on about twelve projects now, including a TV series about an FBI profiler, an American adaptation of a South Korean thriller and a comedy based on Christopher Buckley's novel Florence Of Arabia. But what we don't learn is why — other than being beautiful, successful, thin and white — it's imperative that she appear on the cover of Vogue for September 2009. In Kevin Conley's own words: "Theron hasn't been in front of the camera for more than a year."

The Indiscreet Charm Of Charlize Theron [Vogue.com]

[Photograph by Mario Testino for Vogue]

Send an email to Dodai, the author of this post, at dodai@jezebel.com.

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