Last night, Stephen Colbert took on textbooks after being tipped off by Tucker "The Tool" Carlson that the educational materials are being revised to be more gender-neutral. Carlson, you see, feels marginalized, but Colbert has some suggestions!

Colbert explained that one way to combat the neutralization of masculine terms — like changing "Congressman" to "Member of Congress" — is to replace "female" terms with male ones. He'd start things off by replacing "bitchy" with "teste," the better to describe the way white men feel marginalized in a society that's slowly recognizing the existence and power of women and people of color.