Let's jump back a few decades and take a trip back to 1960, where we'll see that even though the world has changed in 49 years, there are certain elements of Teen Magazine that will always stay the same.

Teen magazines are still filled with ads reminding you that your personal hygiene is the key to social success. Here, we learn that bad breath can drive the fellas and the ladies away. Dateless? Friendless? Perhaps you need to brusha brusha brusha!


Here we have the 16th birthday party of a famous young lady of the time. Much like the show My Super Sweet 16, the spread begins by focusing on her outrageous birthday party with super important guests, and ends with her parents buying her a brand new car. Things change, things stay the same.


"Man, dig those crazy flippers!" Here we have some info on the teen scene, which apparently is filled with wacky aquatics.


Ah, the ol' "Don't read this, girls! It's just for the boys (but not really)" trick. Do we dare read on, ladies? What secrets could possibly be revealed? Let's find out.

Sponsored

Turns out the "secret info" is a guide for boys on how to sweep ladies off their feet. The basics: be polite, brush your teeth, and don't try to shove your tongue down her throat. If you look closely, you'll see my favorite part of the magazine: someone has written the name "Gary" next to the suave gentleman on the right. I hope Gary turned out to be an absolute dream...

As opposed to this dud, who doesn't have a shot in hell with the ladies. This article is so unbelievably sarcastic that you'd think it was written yesterday: "Taking a bath once a week was good enough for Grandpa, so it's good enough for you. Especially if you are an active athlete. She'll really look up to you for this. She'll probably have to—the sight of you will undoubtedly knock her over."


Ah, the celebrity diary! Here, we learn that Frankie Avalon gave Annette Funicello a gold charm for her bracelet. Couldn't you just die!? What an absolute dream!


If you look closely, you'll see that this Clearasil is being advertised as "skin-colored." By "skin-colored," they mean "white," as that was the only color I saw represented in this issue.


This issue is also filled with lots of hip lingo, dig? I'm not sure what "Sportswear for fun are Endsville to a wardrobe" means, but I like it.


"One Coke, two straws."


It's very important to make sure your sportswear is Endsville (I think?) in order to impress the fellas at the pep rally.


Pretty sure George McFly over here just told all four of these ladies that they were his density—I mean, his destiny.


Would any teen magazine be complete without an ad for Stridex pads? I think not.


As you can see, the ol' "I was a geek in high school, but look at me now!" story was alive and kickin' 49 years ago.


A free pair of Big Daddy sunglasses with your subscription? Sign me up!


This is my favorite page in the entire magazine: a guide to writing "Way Out" stories. It ends with my new favorite phrase of all time: FILE IT, BURN IT, MAIL IT TO ANTSVILLE, which I'm pretty sure was the "GTFO" of its day. And I'm not sure what a "Jiggle Stick" is, but I'm sure Lady GaGa will work it into her next album somewhere.


This is the back page of the magazine. For when you're done reading about teen stars, hepcats, crazy wayout stories, Stridex pads, and the importance of brushing your teeth, it's time to get down to business and start thinking about getting married. Yikes! Perhaps some things have changed after all...or at least they wait until you graduate to Cosmo to start pushing the rings nowadays.