G-Force Premiere: "Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea Pigs. In 3-D." Also: Clothes!

Wondering what to expect from the premiere of a movie acted by talking guinea pigs? All I'll say is, the outfits at G-Force's El Capitan Theatre opening? They kinda made sense, considering.

G-Force Premiere: "Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea Pigs. In 3-D." Also: Clothes!

It seems like every summer the mags declare that white jeans like Eva LaRue's are either "back" or a "summer classic" and that they're "surprisingly wearable." None of these things ever gives any indication of being remotely true.


G-Force Premiere: "Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea Pigs. In 3-D." Also: Clothes!

It's kind of like Brenda Song was on some kind of game show, where she had to make an outfit from a thrift store in fifteen minutes. In which case this would maybe win a Huffy dirt bike or something.


G-Force Premiere: "Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea Pigs. In 3-D." Also: Clothes!

Niecy Nash demonstrates the evolution of the bandage dress.


G-Force Premiere: "Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea Pigs. In 3-D." Also: Clothes!

I have concerns about Shea Fisher's underpinnings.


G-Force Premiere: "Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea Pigs. In 3-D." Also: Clothes!

I think what's bothering me about Kelli Garner's getup is the rose on the blouse echoed by the belt buckle - a lot of fussiness.


G-Force Premiere: "Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea Pigs. In 3-D." Also: Clothes!

Okay, Debby Ryan is only 16, and clearly styled her own outfit, and the truth is, I'd rather a teen was somewhat...overzealous than all slick and sexy and adult.


G-Force Premiere: "Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea Pigs. In 3-D." Also: Clothes!

Let's talk about strategically-placed panels of lace and crochet like Gena Lee Nolin's. Or, you know what? Let's not and say we did.


G-Force Premiere: "Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea Pigs. In 3-D." Also: Clothes!

A few years ago, Ming-Na Wen's free-flowing frock would have been called "boho." On eBay it would be called "boho hippie retro vintage cool!!!" Her sandals, in any language, would be called "comfortable-looking."


G-Force Premiere: "Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea Pigs. In 3-D." Also: Clothes!

Leslie Bibb looks great. Do not try this at home.


G-Force Premiere: "Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea Pigs. In 3-D." Also: Clothes!

Chloe Grace Moretz is, unquestionably, Best-Dressed of the night! Bonus points for cheering me up on a Monday morning.


G-Force Premiere: "Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea Pigs. In 3-D." Also: Clothes!

Jennifer Stone's oddly geometric shoe soles remind me of those elaborate stilt shoes Medieval ladies wore to avoid stepping in...anything.


[Images via Getty]