Hollywood producers have proposed a West Wing meets Northern Exposure reality show about Sarah Palin. Somehow, we obtained a storyboard for the first episode submitted to the networks earlier this week...and its surprisingly up to date!
Like The Hills, and unlike Sarah's vice-presidential bid, Pallin' Around With The Palins is prepared in advance.
We open with the Palins enjoying some traditional Alaskan cuisine — perhaps "sandwiches" made of a slice of bread between two slices of moose meat. Because everything is crazy up there, right?
But all is not well in Palintopia. Sarah's not happy, because she's getting lambasted by critics.
Including Levi Johnston, who's telling the media she quit her job to write a book (can we maybe get him to take off his shirt again?). But Only Dead Fish Go With The Flow was supposed to be a secret! At this point we'd like to get a special guest star on . . .
Now Sarah consoles Bristol, and attempts to find her a more loyal partner (this part of the show is like The Bachelorette).
Some candidates are rejected early.
Sarah suggests a candidate of her own — that nice Jay Newton-Small of Time, who called her an "exotic creature"...
But is surprised to find out that despite her first name, Newton-Small is a woman.
In this portion of the show, Sarah prays for forgiveness. She also asks the Lord for tips on her 2012 presidential campaign, and the date of the next fish run. Could include more guest stars here (Pat Robertson? Rick Warren? To really stir things up, Jeremiah Wright?)
Time for a fishin' break.
But the Palins are attacked by a shark (think Palin vs. Wild)! Pat Buchanan's "drowning" technique is no match for the massive creature.
Luckily, Sarah winks the beast to death.
The Palins say their goodbyes. In the next episode, they skin a bear, and give hip waders to the homeless.