Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

Hollywood producers have proposed a West Wing meets Northern Exposure reality show about Sarah Palin. Somehow, we obtained a storyboard for the first episode submitted to the networks earlier this week...and its surprisingly up to date!

Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

Like The Hills, and unlike Sarah's vice-presidential bid, Pallin' Around With The Palins is prepared in advance.


Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

We open with the Palins enjoying some traditional Alaskan cuisine — perhaps "sandwiches" made of a slice of bread between two slices of moose meat. Because everything is crazy up there, right?


Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

But all is not well in Palintopia. Sarah's not happy, because she's getting lambasted by critics.


Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

Including Levi Johnston, who's telling the media she quit her job to write a book (can we maybe get him to take off his shirt again?). But Only Dead Fish Go With The Flow was supposed to be a secret! At this point we'd like to get a special guest star on . . .


Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

Like Pat Buchanan. Maybe he could personally carry out his advice to "hold Levi's head underwater until the thrashing stops."


Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

Now Sarah consoles Bristol, and attempts to find her a more loyal partner (this part of the show is like The Bachelorette).


Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

Some candidates are rejected early.


Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

Sarah suggests a candidate of her own — that nice Jay Newton-Small of Time, who called her an "exotic creature"...


Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

But is surprised to find out that despite her first name, Newton-Small is a woman.


Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

In this portion of the show, Sarah prays for forgiveness. She also asks the Lord for tips on her 2012 presidential campaign, and the date of the next fish run. Could include more guest stars here (Pat Robertson? Rick Warren? To really stir things up, Jeremiah Wright?)


Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

Time for a fishin' break.


Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

But the Palins are attacked by a shark (think Palin vs. Wild)! Pat Buchanan's "drowning" technique is no match for the massive creature.


Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

Luckily, Sarah winks the beast to death.


Pallin' Around With The Palins: A Preview

The Palins say their goodbyes. In the next episode, they skin a bear, and give hip waders to the homeless.