How Do I Tell Everyone That This Guy Died Of Prostate Cancer Because He Was An Adulterer?Sadie Stein7/10/09 2:20pmFiled to: Ask dorothy parkerAsk A Dead PersonAsk JudyobitDorothy ParkerJack KerouacCasanovaBrigham Younganais ninPeggy hopkins joyceSaint augustineLeopold and loebAndrew CarnegieOscar Wildebenjamin franklinTop242EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkThis week, a concerned citizen wrote in to Obit's resident sage, Judy, with a question of doctrinal import. Judy took care of rational advice, so we thought we'd ask a bunch of dead people!AdvertisementDear Judy,I don't know if this is up your alley. One of the people in my church died recently. He was wealthy and had the best doctors but prostate cancer got him anyway in the end. He was also married, with four children, and slept with a number of women, including the church secretary. She has a broken heart, still, because he left her.I think maybe he got prostate cancer because he was an adulterer, although I realize there's no scientific proof of this.Now some of the people in our church want to establish a scholarship in this man's name (a religious scholarship! for college students who want to go on and become pastors). So what do I do?Do I inform our own pastor about this issue? In a way I don't want to because the two men were friends. But in a way I feel I should do what's right, no matter what. Also, I think the 11 members of our church who want to fund such a scholarship should be told so maybe the scholarship can be given another name. And maybe the man's widow, who is a very nice woman, but none too smart.Your view?Celia Dorothy Parker: If every man who cheated got smote, well, there'd be no one left to smite.AdvertisementCasanova: Yes. I'm sure the pastor had...no idea. He'll be shocked. Really.Anais Nin: I don't believe in "morality." Brigham Young: I really fail to see what the problem here is, Madam. Peggy Hopkins Joyce: Wait, how wealthy?Saint Augustine: Passion is the evil in adultery. If a man has no opportunity of living with another man's wife, but if it is obvious for some reason that he would like to do so, and would do so if he could, he is no less guilty than if he was caught in the act.SponsoredLeopold and Loeb: We know what it's like having to deal with intellectual inferiors; torture. Andrew Carnegie: You're absolutely right; all philanthropists should lead blameless personal lives.AdvertisementOscar Wilde: Madam, I find your moralizing exceedingly tedious. Hippocrates: A doctor, you're not.Benjamin Franklin: Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. Jack Kerouac: Fuck religion. The Man Who Broke My Heart, A Church Scandal and a Callous Cousin [Obit]Earlier:"My Marriage Is Falling Apart Because I'm A Mac, And He's A PC." "How Do I Explain To My Friend That Her Bad Mothering Drove Her Daughter To Suicide?" What To Do When You're In Love With Your Sister's Widower? "How Do I Keep My Sullen Daughter From Alienating My Wealthy Boyfriend?"