OutFest Film Festival: Nights In Pastel SatinS

The Orpheum Theatre's opening night gala for 2009 Outfest, the annual queer film festival, featured the Lane-Brolins, the Soto-Bratts, Lisa Kudrow, Chaz Bono, Christina Ricci, dad-rock jeans, and a whole lot of tight satin.

OutFest Film Festival: Nights In Pastel SatinS

Why is it that Lisa Kudrow, of all the Friends, seems to possess the least taint? Is it living in France half the time? Is it elegant dresses like this? Is it the strange shoes? Is it some combination of Romy and Michelle and The Opposite of Sex?


OutFest Film Festival: Nights In Pastel SatinS

Christina Ricci takes on two bold elements: pastel satin and a high neckline. While I envy her neither back rides nor the inevitable adjustments every time a photographer turns away.


OutFest Film Festival: Nights In Pastel SatinS

Ditto Erika Alexander. Indeed, perhaps there should be an unofficial ban on satin dresses on the grounds of "reminiscent of What Not to Wear reveal outfit."


OutFest Film Festival: Nights In Pastel SatinS

Benjamin Bratt and Talisa Soto are, obviously, a gorgeous couple. Too bad I can't tear my eyes away from his weirdly well-pressed dad jeans.


OutFest Film Festival: Nights In Pastel SatinS

Michelle Krusiec's little frock is unexceptionable but these square-boxed sandals always give me bad junior-prom flashbacks. Which makes me wonder why even a 16-year-old who was me thought a vintage nightgown without a bra looked remotely like eveningwear.


OutFest Film Festival: Nights In Pastel SatinS

Behold Brolin and Lane in celeb disguise, the kind that makes one immediately think "that's a celebrity" before you recognize them. In fact, as a public service, someone should really send a memo to Variety explaining that real people don't wear sunglasses and baseball caps, particularly indoors.


OutFest Film Festival: Nights In Pastel SatinS

Lorielle New's getup compelled me to visit her website, which features smooth music, describes her as "a hardworking Hollywood actress" and features live chat with her every day at 5.


OutFest Film Festival: Nights In Pastel SatinS

This is, we believe, Chaz Bono's first public appearance since announcing his transition; girlfriend Jennifer was in attendance, too.


[Images via Getty]