Britney's Going Through The Motions; GaGa Wants Foursome With Jonas Bros.

  • Is Britney being forced to tour? An insider says she's emotionally fragile, but her father insists the show must go on. The source claims:

"It's a freak show right now. [Britney's] phoning every song in. It's pretty obvious she is not happy to be here." [MSNBC via E!]

  • Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart hung out after the MTV Movie awards and got cozy and OMG maybe something is going on and OMG it's just like Twilight OMG. [Gatecrasher]
  • A source says Susan Boyle has been flooded with offers from all over the world, but Simon Cowell says, "Susan isn't signing anything or doing anything until she is better." Yes, thank you, Captain Obvious. [Daily Express]
  • According to this report, Susan Boyle collapsed before being hospitalized — she had been crying all day and then passed out in her room; when she was admitted to the clinic, she wailed, "Where's Pebbles?" Medics arranged a phone call to her "beloved cat." [The Sun]
  • This paper calls what happened to Susan Boyle an "anxiety attack." [Mirror]
  • BGT Judge Amanda Holden says of Susan Boyle: "It's probably a blessing she didn't win as it takes off some of the pressure. Perhaps now she can relax." [Telegraph]
  • Uh, Prince Charles watches Britain's Got Talent? [Telegraph]
  • "Susan Boyle and Jon & Kate Gosselin are victims ... and YOU'RE to blame." [NY Daily News]
  • In a poll, 48% of people who bothered to answer think that the eight Gosselin kids from Jon & Kate Plus 8 will be worse off for having taken part in the show. [USA Today]
  • So, are Jon and Kate's "plus 8" being exploited? This columnist writes, "Of course they are." [MSNBC Scoop]
  • What does Nadya Suleman think of all this? "[Kate] needs to stop being so judgmental and stop pulling at straws for attention. My children are extremely healthy, strong and happy. Don't you have, like, a lot of issues in your life? A lot of marital problems? Why are you so desperate to glob on to my life? For attention?" Wait, what? [Radar Online]
  • Lady GaGa would like to have a foursome with the Jonas Brothers. "I love them. They're very talented!" [Gatecrasher]
  • Beth Ditto looks pretty awesome on the cover of Attitude magazine. Inside, she calls "I Kissed A Girl" a "boner dyke" anthem for "straight girls who like to turn guys on by making out or like faking gay." And! She says: "I hate Katy Perry! She's offensive to gay culture, I'm so offended. She's just riding on the backs of our culture, without having to pay any of the dues and not being actually lesbian or anything at all. She's on the cover of a fucking gay magazine." [Perez]
  • Amy Winehouse's "Caribbean detox" is not exactly going as planned: By 9am she's had two shots of tequila, and this reporter says, "You can see scars which indicate that she has been self-harming - cutting herself - again and there are two cigarette burns on her stomach, which are healing." A worker in the resort says: "Over the past couple of weeks she's been drinking more and more. She used to have colour in her drinks - you know, juice - but now all I can see is clear liquid." [Daily Mail]
  • Remember that Maserati Lindsay Lohan was cruising around in? It's yours, if you have $25,000 — check eBay. Fender benders? What fender benders? [TMZ]
  • Shia LaBeouf will star in the latest John Grisham novel-turned-movie. [Gatecrasher]
  • Adam Lambert's mom was asked about her son's sexuality and said, "I would rather not answer until it comes out." Interesting choice of words! She also says: "We signed a contract with Idol and unless it has been set up by them, I'm not allowed to answer." [E!]
  • You probably guessed this, but the Eminem/Bruno stunt at the MTV Movie Awards was staged. [EW, LA Times]
  • An insider says that Eminem was actually the second choice — Paris Hilton was MTV's first choice. Eminem was definitely the funnier choice. [Life & Style]
  • Evan Rachel Wood: Seen making out with Shane West in Las Vegas. [Page Six]
  • Some stalkerazzo asked Michael Jackson if he was gonna tour with the Jackson 5 and MJ nodded yes, so TMZ is reporting that there will indeed be a special one-night concert with the Jackson 5 and Janet in Texas. [TMZ]
  • The very fabric of the world unravels as we discover that Robert De Niro stole his famous "You talkin' to me?" line in Taxi Driver from Bruce Springsteen. [Daily Express]
  • What will Olympic gymnast and Dancing With The Stars winner Shawn Johnson do next? Go to college. She's narrowed it down to Stanford or UCLA and says, "I'm not sure what I'll be studying yet. Maybe I'll choose something in the medical field." [Gatecrasher]
  • Nicole Kidman dropped out of a Woody Allen movie, in which she was to play a call girl, and Brit actress Lucy Punch has taken over the role. She has similar alabaster skin, so maybe that's integral to the part? [Page Six]
  • What the world needs now: A Dubai version of Paris Hilton's My New BFF. Except, since it's the UAE, there's no alcohol, and swearing, sexually explicit conversation or risque clothing will be kept to a minimum. How sad is it that we live in a world where it's hard to picture a reality show without all that? [Variety]
  • The Veronicas are in talks with MTV about launching a reality show in the U.S. — it would be a behind-the-scenes look at their life in the music scene. [News.com.au]
  • Mel Gibson: Hasn't been taking communion recently. Probably because, technically, he is an adulterer. [People]
  • Peter Andre is now living in a "huge seaside pad" in Hove, East Sussex — just a 30 minute drive from his estranged wife Katie "Jordan" Price and their kids. [The Sun]
  • Here, the manse is called his "dream home." [Daily Mail]
  • Peter Andre says: "I've been 100 per cent faithful throughout my marriage and still am." [Mirror]
  • Put on your blonde wig and sing: The Disney Channel has ordered a fourth season of Hannah Montana. [Variety]
  • The subject of the NY Times' Frequent Flier column today is Duff McKagan, of Guns N' Roses, Velvet Revolver and Loaded. He talks about bribing immigration officers of South American countries so his band could get in, and says: "Although I've never been convicted of a felony or even a misdemeanor, I have a suspicion that I'm persona non grata in airports. I'm always the guy that gets 'randomly' selected for a more thorough security check. I'm really the most nonthreatening of travelers. I mean, how much of a scene can I cause when I spend time doing crossword puzzles? I'm actually a crossword puzzle fanatic." [NY Times]
  • Stephen Dorff is dating his publicist. [Page Six]
  • Alyssa Milano will star in and produce a romcom called My Girlfriend's Boyfriend. The plot: An outgoing woman meets two seemingly ideal men in quick succession — a struggling novelist and successful ad exec — and must decide between them. [The Hollywood Reporter]
  • Excellent news: Sade is working on her first album in nine years. [Reuters]
  • "A previously unseen photograph of Jane Fonda as Barbarella by Paul Joyce is to go on display." [Telegraph]
  • Did you know that John Ratzenberger has been part of every Pixar release over the last 14 years? [USA Today]
  • Jerry Springer razzle dazzled in his London debut playing the lawyer Billy Flynn in the hit musical Chicago. [Daily Mail]
  • Blind item! "Which old-school pair of actor brothers constantly tag-team at parties, picking up the youngest girls they can find?" [Gatecrasher]
  • "Don't call it 'civics' because 'civics' is easily the most boring word in America. Call it what it is: political power. I've got a very simple thing her. I've got a nonprofit initiative to get K-12 grades back to civics, to give our children real-world knowledge and hopefully wisdom about how to run this complex governance system. That's it. That's enough." — Richard Dreyfuss, on the The Dreyfuss Initiative. [AP]
  • "He's a social butterfly, and loves being on tour. He loves it so much, he thinks it's absolutely hilarious to embarrass me as much as possible. For example, [I'm] walking into the hotel lobby after returning from dinner. It's a quiet, serene, beautiful when … Screaming voice from out of nowhere: 'HEY! THAT'S TAYLOR SWIFT!!' Me: 'Dad. Please stop doing that.'" — Taylor Swift. [People]
  • "This season I made it like a sorority, the Paris sorority. It's about sisterhood, and they have to follow certain rules. In real life, you know, I'm not that superficial." — Paris Hilton, on the new season of My New BFF. [Mirror via E!]
  • "I couldn't have given him kids - and anyway I want black kids, not white kids." — Amy Winehouse, on the news that her husband Blake is expecting a child with a blonde he met in rehab. [Daily Mail]
  • "I stopped doing (romantic comedies). They are terrible; they are bad. They are not funny, so they shouldn't be a romantic comedy and most of the time they are not romantic. So they shouldn't be called a romantic comedy. They should be called that other kind of film. I'm not calling [The Proposal] a romantic comedy." — Sandra Bullock. [MSNBC]
  • "Kanye West is the person pissing me off right now. The entire time Kanye is going, 'They need more fur in this show.' He just wouldn't shut up about how he loved fur. I mean, he's saying this to me, the PETA guy and Paul McCartney! I was just so grossed out by him. I'm like, 'You're an idiot!' There are so many people who I think are a waste of skin and he's up there. I should wear him." — Pink, to FHM Australia. [The Life Files]