The Beautiful Life, a show about modeling which stars Mischa Barton, Elle MacPherson, and is produced by Ashton Kutcher, just got picked up by The CW. Which means a full season of inaccurate inanities! Let us first count what's wrong with the Zac Posen-starring teaser clip, after the jump.
1. Models Aren't Bitchy To Each Other
This is probably the number one misconception about the industry. No working model would darkly threaten a newbie backstage at a fashion show with breaking "a Jimmy Choo," and nobody would fat-shame a model who couldn't fit into a dress. (A model not fitting into a dress minutes before a show wouldn't actually happen, since every runway look is fitted first to a "looks" model and then to the actual girl who'll wear it prior to the show, but even assuming someone went to their fitting and then gained an inch and a half overnight, even then, the other girls wouldn't act like she'd become invisible.) Every single one of us has in the past been found too fat in the eyes of certain clients, and every single one of us will be found physically lacking in the future, too, for as long as we stay in this industry — and what that shared reality actually builds is empathy, not derision. Once last season a designer I was working for said, aghast, "What are you, like a size two?" And as soon as the designer had left, the other girls doing their fittings both shot me looks of exasperation, resignation, and common frustration. That is what it's like, CW. Models are some of the most collegial coworkers I've ever been privileged to know.
2. Mischa Barton's Underpants
Are clearly black with leopard spots, and not a thong. In this job, those comfortable in a nude g-string need only apply. Anything more is unprofessional, for the simple reason that it might show through, or affect the lines of, the garment. Also: Where the hell is this grand backstage area, with its curtains that one can swish through so dramatically, and so privately? I want to work there, because the reality of an open warren of makeup tables and clothing racks prowled by backstage photographers who live for the model-in-a-state-of-undress shot is so comparatively unglamorous.
3. A Model Gets On Zac Posen's Runway And Freezes