Our friends at the Daily Fail want us to know that Julia Roberts is a "heroine for real women," because she bared her stretch marks while on vacation in Hawaii.
Writer Laura Kemp pens a letter to Roberts, inviting her to join the "Mummy Tummy Club."
I need not remind you that to be offered the position is a rare privilege, but you have earned it after you displayed such a fine example of a mummy tummy last week, with its crepey softness providing an inspiration for us jelly bellies the world over.
If you're headdesking over that ridiculousness, don't bother reading the rest of the missive; Kemp asserts that the rules of the MTC include neglecting your grooming; moaning about lack of sleep and having no grasp of world news or fashion sense now that you're a mother.
But when it comes to bellies, instead of stars on "Best Beach Body" tabloid covers, or Julia Roberts — who is a millionaire and for whom upkeep of appearance is part of the job description — might we look to a site suggested by a commenter yesterday?