midweek madness best beach bodies in touch jon & kate plus 8 david hasselhoff ok! star us us weekly life & style gawker defamer

By Dodai Stewart May 13, 2009 2:00 PM 42,055

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This Week In Tabloids: Bulging Beach Bodies & Hasselhoff Death Watch

If it's Wednesday, we must be playing Midweek Madness. Why else would assistant Margaret and I let the tabloids — Ok!, Us, In Touch, Life & Style and Star — kick us in the shins?

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Celebrity, Sex, Fashion for Women

dirt bag 141 25,054 Gwyneth Paltrow Goes All Out For Blue Ivy’s Baby Gift
dessert 76 20,616 Cupcakes Are Ruining Everything
proposals 75 5,876 Make Your Engagement Extra Special by Proposing at Pizza Hut
discrimination 72 4,890 Terrible Judge Says Woman Fired Over Pumping Breast Milk Wasn’t Discriminated Against
squee 71 14,313 Baby Bear and Wolf Cub are The Cutest Best Friends You’ll Ever See
rights and rites 64 9,608 Republican Politician Offers a Heartwarming Defense of Gay Marriage
snap judgment 58 9,400 An Awkward Moment with Lindsay Lohan, Woody Allen, and Soon-Yi
tweet beat 51 205,333 Is Taylor Armstrong Tweeting Compliments to Herself?
kids 31 6,516 Amazing Little Girl Can Give Better Directions Than Any GPS
dating 28 12,122 Do You Keep Underwear In Your Purse?
education 27 10,143 School District Celebrates Black History Month With Boys-Only Movie Day
doctors 27 13,611 Is Your Doctor a Big Fat Liar?
good/bad/ugly 26 455,315 Fashion Week Begins, and Lindsay Lohan Is a Stain on the Red Carpet
dirt bag 26 49,135 Adele Doesn’t Give a Fat Fuck What Karl Lagerfeld Thinks About Her Body
disgrace for the cure 24 21,873 Komen CEO Really Sad That Everyone’s Mad at Her
pill baby pill 22 5,386 Catholic Bishops Want Every Business Including Taco Bell to Be Free to Deny Birth Control Coverage
sex 22 11,799 Surprising Number of Married People Spice Up Sex Lives With Public Spanking
rag trade 21 14,778 Top Modeling Agency Says 14 Is Not Too Young For The Runway
downton abbey 20 22,498 Downton Abbey’s O’Brien Is a Total Babe
genderal interest 20 91,108 Why Do Men Love ‘Barely Legal’ Porn?
weighty matters 19 17,910 Ballet Dancer Fired for Daring to Acknowledge Pressure to be Thin
racism 19 15,232 Misguided Idiot in Black Face Asks BYU Students About Black History
chelsea handler 18 31,860 Chelsea Handler Had an Abortion at 16 and Zero Regrets
comedy 14 9,507 The Artist’s Jean Dujardin To Be Cast as Villain in Every Movie
tv 13 6,306 RuPaul in ‘Dragton Abbey’
social minefield 13 11,575 How to Act at Someone Else’s Church