Wanda Sykes Kills, Republicans Rage & Osama Hides

  • Wanda Sykes' White House Correspondents' Dinner performance was pretty funny , but some conservatives, including Meghan McCain, aren't laughing because they're too busy feigning outrage for the cameras. [C-SPAN, ABC News, NY Daily News]
  • Dick Cheney continues to hone his own special brand of performance art; now he's claiming that Colin Powell is less worthy of attention than Rush Limbaugh and the U.S. should just keep on torturing people. [Associated Press]
  • Nancy Pelosi continues to deny that she knew a thing about waterboarding, let alone signed off on it, but it turns out her top aide was specifically briefed on it before she signed off on a letter to the CIA opposing it. [Politico, Washington Post]
  • Obama's going to have a meeting today where health insurance companies will totally promise to raise your rates by 1.5% less next year. For most people, this means they'll be jacking up their prices by 4 times the rate of inflation rather than 5, co congratufuckinglations. [Associated Press]
  • John Edwards' staffers say now that they planned to sabotage his campaign if he looked to be winning the primaries. [ABC News]
  • Joe Biden's a busy guy, having now added advising Obama on potential Supreme Court nominees to his resume. [Washington Post]
  • Defense Secretary Robert Gates' plan to shift 10 percent of military spending to items our troops currently need to protect their lives in Iraq and Afghanistan is facing opposition from Republicans who want to make sure that whatever soldiers survive our current wars without armored vehicles and medical transport helicopters have big tanks and airplanes with which to invade China and Russia. [NY Times]
  • John McCain believes that the military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy is working just fine at weeding out the dreaded gays from its ranks. Who needs a cunning linguist in the military, anyway? [ThinkProgress]
  • No one knows where in the world Osama bin Laden or Carmen Sandiego can be found. (Carmen's probably easier to find). [Associated Press]