This S**t Is Bananas, Hannah Montana

Not satisfied with cornering the market on unnecessary egg branding, Disney has plans to brand several "healthy" foods, including—wait for it—a Zac Efron avocado. There are already 250 such products in the "Disney Garden" line.

While the intent appears to be good, in that Disney is backing away from junk foods and attempting to steer children towards healthier options, there's still something icky about the Mouse's insistence on branding every single bloody thing children come across. As Susan Linn of the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood tells the Washington Post :"If we think about children's well-being, the best thing we could do is to stop marketing any food to them and let parents make choices about what their children eat without being undermined by advertising."

The art of using likable, popular characters to draw children to certain foods is clearly nothing new: when I was a kid, I bugged my parents until they bought me cereals with Toucan Sam and Tony the Tiger on the box. When my parents were kids, they followed the advice of The Cheerios Kid. And when my grandparents were kids, they looked to the Campbell's Kids. There will always be tie-ins between food and inoffensive characters, mostly because it's good business: since starting the line last year, the Disney Garden line has seen a 70% increase in sales.

While I am not a fan of Disney, by any means, I suppose at the very least we can be glad that they are steering kids towards healthier options. But if, in 30 years, the only foods we have to eat have pictures of the Jonas Brothers on them, I'm moving to Saturn. And I'm taking all the Efronocados with me.

A Hannah Montana Banana? [Washington Post]
Disney Rethinks The Branding Of Food [PSFK]
Disney Eggs: They're Eggs. By Disney