OK!
"Love, Lust & Lies." The inside story does not live up to its lame selling point on the cover, since it is just a package of pretty headshots of male celebrities with random relationship quotes. Also, it is called "How To Snag An A-List Guy," but we thought it said "How To Shag An A-List Guy," which we would have preferred. Moving on: Apparently Chris Brown has been calling Rihanna's producer and "demanding" to know if Rihanna is there; Rihanna always says, "Tell him I'm not here." Kimora Lee Simmons says her baby shower was "last minute and low-key." [Fig. 1] But here's what she had: Sliced prime rib; lobster; crab; shrimp; caviar; poached salmon; macaroni and cheese; a fondue fountain with white chocolate, fruit and marshmallows; red velvet cake; Jamaican rum cake and strawberry shortcake. Don't you love a recession? Something Kelly Ripa said at the very end of an interview got turned into a headline: "I Look My Age." Here's her quote: "I don't think I really look that young. I think I look my age, but that's okay, I don't mind that." Then there's a Mother's Day shopping page which suggests a $595 orange bag, a $1350 Tiffany necklace or a $48 candle.
Grade: F (swine flu)