Obama Fixing America, Not Kissing Enough Private School Ass

  • People at Washington's Sidwell Friends School (where Sasha & Malia go) are disappointed that the Obamas "only" donated autographed magazines to their charity auction rather than agreeing to hang out with the highest bidder. [MSNBC]
  • Levi Johnston's mother Sherry's prosecutor is pissed that she told him she had to leave the state on family business, since he now knows that "business" was appearing on Tyra. [Huffington Post]
  • More torturous than watching all of Sherry Johnston's interviews is listening to John McCain try to defend not investigating any of the Bushies who signed off on torturing people. [ThinkProgress]
  • But add him to the list of people who think Dick Cheney should STFU. [Politico]
  • Newt Gingrich, having not (yet) been waterboarded, doesn't know whether it is torture. Put him on the sign-up sheet after Mr. Hannity! [ThinkProgress]
  • The FBI interrogator who got most of the information out of Abu Zubaydah before the CIA started torturing him thinks that torture is useless. He wanted to arrest the CIA contractors doing it before the Administration made it "legal," but his bosses recalled him to the States instead. [Time]
  • Twenty Americans are sick from the swine flu, so it's a public health emergency. There are a million Americans living with HIV and more than 500,000 have died, but I guess 20 Americans throwing up is a big deal. [Politico, Avert]
  • Governor Rick Perry plans on getting his state to secede... after he gets his precious federal swine flu dollars, that is. [ThinkProgress]
  • Shane Murphy, who was second in command of the American vessel seized by Somali pirates, thinks Rush Limbaugh is a race-baiting asshole. Unlike elected Republican officials, he ain't takin' that assertion back. [Boston.com]
  • Hillary Clinton has told Iraqis that we won't let their country go to hell. Any more than we already have, that is. [Associated Press]
  • She also thinks Lebanon should try being moderate. The Syrians disagree. [NY Times]
  • Minnesotans have had it up to here with Norm Coleman's bullshit. [Politico]
  • And prepare to break out the world's smallest violin: lobbyists are complaining they don't have enough access to the White House to lobby effectively! [Washington Post]