Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt Are On Drugs, Getting Married

  • Faux-reality stars Heidi and Spencer are getting married, legally this time, in Pasadena on April 25. Speaking of making it legal, they reportedly have a prescription for pot.
  • They went to the Beverly Hills Court House on Wednesday, but denied they got a marriage license. Apparently they think they're important enough for this whole "secret wedding" B.S. [TMZ]
  • Best part about the wedding? The favor for guests is Heidi's new single. [TMZ]
  • On April 2, they were seen entering The Farmacy, a medical marijuana facility, in L.A. Their rep says they were there for a "web-based reality show." It wasn't me, I swear. [Star]
  • Lindsay Lohan will appear on the Ellen DeGeneres Show on April 23, her first interview since breaking up with Samantha Ronson. We'll see what happens, since Ellen knows a thing or two about formerly-straight girlfriends who go off the deep end on drug-induced benders. (Please read Call Me Crazy by Anne Heche, aka Celestia.) [Star]
  • Kylie Minogue's model boyfriend, Andres Velencoso, got her name tattooed "just below his hip." We hope they stay together for a long time, because dating another woman after this will be so awkward. She won't be able to get "Can't Get You Out of My Head" out of her head when she's giving him head. [The Sun]
  • For some reason, Elle MacPherson snubbed Kylie's sister Dannii at some awards show in Sydney. Dannii, like the rest of us, probably didn't care. [News.com.au]
  • A woman, 26-year-old Miranda Tozier-Robbins, dressed in fatigues was arrested outside of Britney Spears' home yesterday, for peeping into her windows, and refusing to leave the property. [TMZ]
  • Kate Moss is having a terrible, no good, very bad week. She got a toe infection from a botched manicure, and now she's on antibiotics, which means she can't drink. "She's really annoyed as she was looking forward to wearing open-toe sandals now that the weather is heating up," says a source. [The Sun]
  • Britain's Got Talent over-night sensation Susan Boyle has been invited to appear on Oprah. If Simon Cowell didn't like the way she looks on the outside, wait till Oprah starts asking her about what letter-shape her poop resembles. [The Sun]
  • In other bodily waste news, Will Ferrell drank his own urine. [NY Post]
  • Tori Spelling admits she struggles with body issues, but none of them involve anorexia. [People]
  • Jennifer Jason Leigh will appear on at least two episodes of the new season of Showtime's Weeds, which starts June 8, playing Mary Louise Parker's sister. [Yahoo]
  • "Hulk's serial cheating destroyed our marriage, our family and our future," Linda Hogan said after her ex-husband kinda, sorta threatened to murder her, telling Rolling Stone he understands now how O.J. Simpson felt. Hogan officially does not know best. [NY Post]
  • M.C. Hammer has landed his very own reality show, premiering this summer on A&E, titled Hammertime, natch. It's all about how he's 2 legit 2 quit the entertainment business. [USA Today]
  • Tyra Banks might have to face her stalker in court. Get ready for a "sneering with your eyes" teach on Top Model. [Yahoo]
  • If you're at all interested in hearing Whoopi Goldberg talk about her sex life, click here. [Daily Mail]
  • Nicole Kidman and husband Keith Urban bought four baby Alpacas. Must. See. Pictures. [News.com.au]
  • Sacha Baron Cohen's new movie Bruno, released on July 10, will be rated R, and not NC-17, as feared. [THR]
  • Elton John will perform this weekend at tennis star Andy Roddick's wedding to Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker. Who else is hoping he'll wear custom-made, glittery tennis ball glasses? [People]
  • Stephen Dorff and Elle Fanning (Dakota's little sister) have been cast in Sophia Coppola's new movie Somewhere, which centers around Hollywood's Chateau Marmont. Dorff is supposed to be giving a Mickey Rourke-like performance. [ONTD]
  • Chris Brown/Rihanna: And it's over now. Maybe. [MSNBC]