The April Marie Claire is all about the most over-saturated trend in lady mags today — being an eco-friendly recessionista through the acquisition of more things. Oh, the irony.

To MC's credit, they are offering a free download of Mandy Moore's new single "I Could Break Your Heart Any Day of the Week" if you give them your e-mail address or something. And there is a really interesting article about a matriarchal society in rural China where booty calls are a tradition and the words, "rape" and "war" do not exist in their vocabulary. But all this effort is canceled out by "cheap" finds for under $250 and ways to make your sex "green" when um, isn't au naturel sex green in the first place? Below: We rewrite the cover lines to reflect the unnecessary consumption suggested in this month's issue.

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