"'Maybe you need to see other girls...You should be free.' She added that while she had no interest in sleeping around, if I sowed a few oats she would turn a blind eye." Hmm...
If this guy's situation sounds like a (male) fantasy to you, you're not the only one. But according to the dude's Details piece, this sort of mid-Victorian kinda-open relationship is all the rage! "Call it negotiated wedlock, open fidelity, or monogamy 2.0. Call it every guy's fantasy. In my case it's a limited pass, authorization to tomcat without sacrificing my primary saucer of cream."
All the people (all men) quoted in the article say their open relationships have been the best thing that ever happened to their marriage: better sex, a richer connection, more trust. Although one guy says a girl he met was "pretty skeeved out" by the idea of sleeping with a married man, most of those quoted don't seem to have encountered any trouble. A couple of the cases cited are true open relationships, but in the others, it's just the man sleeping with other people, and while the author tries to make it all seem like one phenomenon, it's...not. One guy who sleeps around but doesn't want his wife to, puts it this way: "I'm a hypocrite...I admit it. I'm jealous."
And, as the author notes, it takes a "very secure" person to deal with letting your husband sleep around on you while you stay faithful. I'll admit right now to not measuring up. Because while true open relationships are one thing, and polyamory another, the gray area the author's describing seems....self-serving. And having been on the wrong end of a relationship that someone else thought was "open," this sort of thing raises my hackles. At the very least, I'd feel a lot better about the whole thing if a single one of these wives had actually been quoted, rather than our being told that it's their privilege to let their husbands get their manly, bestial urges out of the way while they wait happily at home. I present the author's conclusion with no comment:
Before my own mild foray to the dark side, my wife and I had become roommates, business partners, occasionally warring nations. But, after I fessed up to my outside activities, my wife seemed to see me in a new light-no longer the beleaguered husband but the swaggering player. And her incredibly selfless gesture reminded me why I'd fallen in love with her in the first place. Romance bloomed again...In fact, it's worked so well that my wife is now joking about playing the field herself. I will, of course, support her. With one caveat: Please, no bunny boilers.