I have nothing against the actual practice of booty calling…except for when they continue to happen to my phone months and months after I've been in a committed relationship.

My phone rang in the middle of the night during the week, after I was fast asleep. My curiosity of who it might be wasn't strong enough to get me out of bed. Mainly because I knew that if it were an emergency, they'd call back. They didn't. And that sort of confirmed my suspicion: It was a booty call.

Advertisement

I've gotten calls like that while someone was in the bed next to me, and it's kind of uncomfortable, but it just feels plain weird when you're in a committed relationship with that person. Weirder still, if that person is your fiancé. When I woke up the next morning, there was no voicemail, but the call history showed the name of someone I'd hooked up with a couple of times about a year ago, and hadn't really talked to since.

My fiancé asked me who it was, since the call had woken him up, too. I replied honestly, saying, "No one."

Advertisement

There have been similar incidents. About a month earlier, I got a text at 4 AM from a different guy I hadn't spoken to in like 10 months that said simply, "Cha cha." I laughed when I saw it. I wasn't offended, since I used to be the queen of similarly open-ended mass booty texts that I would send out to a bunch of different dudes stored in my phone, at last call.

Advertisement

But, obviously, my social life is way different now. And I know that at one point, I seemed like a consummate bachelorette who could be relied upon for a good time, but I've been engaged for seven fucking months now. Even when I was pulling booty-calling stunts, I had a set of logic that went with it, like that I wouldn't think to contact someone I hadn't heard from in several menstrual or ANTM cycles.

What the hell is the statue of limitations on booty call candidacy? And will still I have to marvel at dudes' idiocy on these matters once I'm actually married?