Kathleen Sebelius Is In, Much To Howard Dean's Dismay

Kathleen Sebelius is already having problems with her nomination and it's barely even Monday, while the Democrats struggle with ideological purity and the idea that having a majority is actually a good thing.

Barack Obama made it all official with Kansas Govenor Kathleen Sebelius this weekend, nominating her to head the Department of Health and Human Services after having once sent her packing back to Kansas when he couldn't find a Cabinet spot for her last autumn. Unlike some of Obama's prior nominees, she's apparently paid all her taxes, hasn't hired illegal immigrants in any capacity, didn't take kickbacks from government contracts, isn't a Republican mole and hasn't lobbied in and for China. Basically, he's nominated the last Cylon, and Howard Dean is having a sad panda day. But it's okay because the anti-abortion people are all up in arms because Sebelius, a Democrat, isn't anti-abortion and once had the audacity to meet with an abortion provider who won a meeting with her in an auction. Kansas' Republican Senators Sam Brownback and Pat Roberts are supporting her, however, partly because she's from Kansas and partly because it means that she'll likely have a more difficult time winning Brownback's Senate seat after he retires and a Republican might actually hold it.

Not that it might actually be an issue, as Kentucky Senator and general crazypants Jim Bunning is now threatening to resign his Senate seat and allow Kentucky's Democratic governor to appoint his replacement — giving the Democrats a filibuster-proof majority, by the way — if the Republicans don't stop pissing in his Corn Flakes and trying to get him to retire and shit. Of course, that would mean New York Senator Kirsten Gilibrand would have to survive her rocky tenure, too, and it's pretty fucking rocky so far. Then again, if the Accountability Now PAC has its way, Pennsylvania Senator Bob Casey and plenty of Democratic House members will be out on their asses in a couple of years for not hewing closely enough to the party line that the PAC and its lobbyists and advocates have determined should be the party line for the sake of the country, because, you know, majority rule be damned if everything isn't done their way.

Send an email to Megan Carpentier, the author of this post, at askalobbyist@gmail.com.

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