McKay Hatch is tired of your mothertrucking bullcorn, ok? So you should probably pull your shizz together and try to participate in No Cussing Week, which begins today, you crud-faced potty mouth sons of witches!
Hatch, 15, tired of the abundance of swear words he heard on a daily basis, decided to fight back, politely, with the No Cussing Club, an organization that meets at his California high school on Wednesdays. The club prides itself on clean language, something Hatch wanted to spread to the rest of his county.
The Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors agreed to take up Hatch's cause, and declared the first week of March to be No Cussing Week, to which much of Los Angeles County replied, "Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?"
Hatch says his No Cussing movement isn't about censorship as much as being more aware of what comes out of one's mouth: "It's not about forcing anyone to stop, just to bring awareness," Hatch says, "If you can do a week without cussing, maybe you can do two weeks. And then maybe a month." There are reportedly over 20,000 members across the country, spreading the same message. McKay's group even has a website, which states: "Ya wanna hang with us? Don't cuss!"
I will admit that I went through a serious potty mouth period in college. I was in a sketch comedy troupe with a bunch of 19-year-old boys, and our typical way of greeting each other, affectionately, mind you, was "Hello, Fuckface." I swore so often that it just became a part of my speech patterns: things sounded better, or funnier, with a big ol' f-bomb attached to them.
However, after I graduated, I found myself slightly embarrassed with the amount of swearing I was doing. And there were times when I nearly let a string of expletives into the air in professional settings, which is generally frowned upon, especially if you, like me, work in a library. Whoops! I have since cut down on my swearing, thanks to the help of a Swear Jar (that amassed about 40 bucks in quarters in approximately 3 days) and a conscious effort to tone down the sailor-speak.
But the idea of a No Cussing Week seems bit crazy to me; yes, "curse words" are slightly vulgar and crass, but that's the bloody point of them! Sometimes, you just need to swear, and "h-e-double hockey sticks" ain't gonna cut it. A ban on cussing is a bit like emotional censorship. One should never feel obligated to swap out "shit" for "shoot." I mean, come on. For fuck's sake!
However, I applaud McKay Hatch's efforts. It can't be easy to hold a No Cussing Club in high school without making yourself the target of some pretty choice swears. As for No Cussing Week, those who can't help but swear don't have to worry about being punished, according to Tony Bell, a spokesman for the Los Angeles County supervisor, who says the week-long swear ban is just "a good reminder for all of us, not just young people but everybody, to be respectful to one another and watch the words we use."
To which we say: we'll do our
motherfucking flippin' best, Mr. Bell. Team No Cussing, Fuck Fudge Yeah!
Oh, and for the best thing you've seen all day, check out McKay Hatch's No Cussing Club Rap. It is beyond awesome. Not even swears can describe the hotness of this jam:
[No Cussing Club]
LA County Tries For No-Cussing Week [AP]