Before the comments of "every day is Guy Day you idiot" begin, let's take a look at Cohen's charming views on the gift giving system in America. "The truth is — hold on, Gloria Steinem — there are more guy-giving than guy-receiving days in the year," Cohen says. Well ain't that a shame? Perhaps if we were paid equally, we could give equally. I'm just sayin.
Cohen argues that women get all the good stuff when it comes to holiday celebrations, trying to paint both Valentine's Day and Mother's Day as high-pressure situations that require a great deal of planning and stress. Dude, come on. You buy a card and you make brunch reservations. Or, if you're my father, you ask your three daughters to do these things for you.
Cohen goes on to celebrate every stereotype in the book, bitching about wedding showers: "Then there is the wedding shower, another occasion for a deluge of presents for everyone but the male. Ever hear of a "groom" shower? A guy getting a new bowling ball or drill press? A shower for us is a can of Mountain Dew that has been shaken too long," and claiming that men have to pay their dues by sitting through "Mamma Mia" and "Sex in the City." He acknowledges Father's Day, but complains that it seems thrown together in comparison to Mother's Day. To sum things up: every holiday for women is overdone, and every holiday for men is inadequate and in need of more gifts. Please cue the sad trombone.
"This is why," Cohen argues, "America needs a new holiday – a Guy Day. A day when guys can look forward to thick steaks and a thin list of things to do. A day when women worry about getting the "right" present and making reservations at the "right" bistro. A day, above all, without hearing one song by ABBA." Because women NEVER worry about the "right" things to do to keep men happy! Oh no! The fashion/beauty/diet industry has nothing to do with that!
Cohen's argument is based completely on cliches and stereotypes: women are needy, greedy and whiny, and men only want to eat steak and watch football. There's no compromise between the two groups, and in Cohen's view, the relationships only exist so that one person can "get" something from the other: it's a very shallow view of life and love and if Cohen really wants someone to celebrate his existence, he should probably stop acting like everyone else's presence on earth is such a bloody drag.
Perhaps Cohen isn't aware that women, too, hate Valentine's Day, that women, too, feel the pressures of stupid holidays and picking the "right" present and setting up the "right" reservations, etc. And to state that a "Guy Day" ideal would be steak and silence only reiterates that Cohen is missing the bigger point.
However, if he ever wants to celebrate STFU Day, created by our editor, Megan, he is more than welcome to attend.
Time For A Guy's Valentine's Day [ABCNews]