Who spends $4600 in excess baggage fees and $2,000 on dry cleaning — to get the moldy cheese and liver treat crumbs out of their pockets? A dog-handler. Poodle groomers have odd lives too:

Kaz Hosaka spent six hours prepping miniature poodle Champion Surrey Sweet Spice before entering the ring; the New York Times says Hosaka is "an artist who tends his poodles' poufs as if they were bonsai trees from his native Japan." Think about the wacky excess as you check out the latest images from the Westminster Dog Show:

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

"I can has economic stimulus package?"

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

"So I says to her, I says, Ethel. If you don't get yourself a box you ain't gonna be able to watch Ellen. Somethin' about digital teevee. She doesn't get it, though, you know?"

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

"If my lo mein doesn't get here in 30 seconds I am going to have to cut a bitch."

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

"Cleans up messes quicker than a Swiffer."

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

"Do I have broccoli in my teeth?"

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

"Dude, does this thing go any faster? I saw a hot little Yorkie over by the snack bar."

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

Insert your own "No Woman No Cry" joke here.

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

Awwwwwwwww, who's a good boy?

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

"It's not you… It's me. I can't do this anymore."

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

Message received, loud and clear.

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

"Is that sirloin? That doesn't smell like sirloin. I'm not even going to bother if that's not sirloin."

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

El oh el.

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

The best "Bish, plz," ever.

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

"I just want to be like, a champagne blonde? Like a honey blonde. Not a frosty blonde. Too trashy. A classy blonde, like one of those Real Housewives."

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

"Worried about my performance? No… what makes you think so? Do I look worried?"

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

"We're just sick of spending so much on Pantene Pro-V." "You can't underestimate the importance of a good conditioner."

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

"Friends, it's a dog eat dog world."

More Puppy Love From the Westminster Dog ShowS

"I know. I'm funny, but looks aren't everything. I've heard 'em all before."

One of the Best of the Dog-Handling Breed [WSJ]
The Poodle Can't Talk Now; She's in With Her Stylist [NY Times]
Earlier: Day 1 Of The Westminster Dog Show