• A British man is pressing charges against a awoman after waking up after a one night stand with home-carved tattoos. Wayne Robinson said: "I look like something out of 'Prison Break.'" •

• A convenience store in Britain has issued an apology after a customer found used condoms in the cardboard packaging of a four-pack of beer. • Scientists have created a "living doll" made of human cancer cells, which they believe may be useful in the testing of new treatments. The neon-green, human-shaped doll is made up of 100,000 "beads" of connective protein. • Skate Canada is trying out a new marketing campaign designed to highlight the more "rough and tumble" aspects of figure skating in order to make it seem "more manly." Good luck with that! • A new study shows that although African Americans are aware of the benefits of the HPV vaccine, only 24% of eligible black female adolescents have received the shots. • In what has got to be one of the tackiest breakups since the (fictional) SATC Post-It message, a British man recently used Facebook updates to inform his wife that he was leaving her. Sensitivity: ur doin it wrong. • Today, the BBC features an article on the history of women serving in the military, in honor of the WRAC's 60th Birthday. Since the beginning, recruitment campaigns have stressed the importance of retaining femininity while serving in the armed forces. • A study performed on mice has found that the childhood environment of the mother can effect the development of memory in her offspring. Previous research in "mouse models" has also shown that mothers with an enriched environment while pregnant are more likely to give birth to intelligent babies. • Osama bin Laden has been rejected from the "best job in the world" (looking after Australia's tropical Hamilton Island). Apparently, a video of bin Laden speaking was given subtitles in which he describes himself as "outgoing," "familiar with sandy areas" and experienced with "large scale event coordination." No word yet on whether my application has been accepted. • New research suggests that part of the reason teens are such brats is because they'e simply unable to see any point of view other than their own due to underdeveloped brains. • A group of American female badminton players were denied visas after being invited to participate in a tournament in Iran. • Nadya Suleman, the suddenly-famous mother of octuplets, has been discharged from the hospital. Suleman has also chosen NBC's Ann Curry (ugh) to tell her story. She can look forward to an interview filled with non-questions and vague rambling! • The 14-year-old former "wife" of polygamist leader Warren Jeffs has been receiving instructions to "stay angry" and to "keep crying, pout, sleep in." • Alexandra Vdovina, a 92-year-old Russian woman, lost her savings and her sheep after being slapped with a huge fine for an accident caused by one of her sheep wandering into the road. Francis Monkman, a British composer and musician, has offered to pay the fine, and provide her enough money to purchase some new livestock. • Former Giants slugger Barry Bonds has been accused of using steroids during the 2003 baseball season. Federal prosecutors say that Bonds was also taking a female fertility drug to mask the evidence of the 'roids. • An Australian cow that was struck by lightning has miraculously survived, and is already back out roaming the fields. • A 68-year-old woman in South Korea has failed her driving test 771 times. Surprisingly, it is not the actual driving portion she finds difficult, but the written part of the exam. • A teenage boy from outside Milwaukee has been accused of tricking at least 31 male classmates into sending him nude pictures, and then using the photos as blackmail to pressure them into sex. • Two women were arrested for kissing in a mall. The lesbian couple now faces charges that range from trespassing to assaulting an officer. • A 60-year-old Canadian woman has given birth to twins after going to India for fertility treatments. • An Austrian insurance company is facing charges of discrimination after refusing to hire people because of their astrological signs.

Send an email to Katy Kelleher, the author of this post, at katy@jezebel.com.