"Artist Damian D Unknoen" sent us this account of a run-in with his stalker, Gillian Anderson.

Unknoen writes (in the third person, for added gravitas):

[he] hitched a ride into Siskiyou Fort Jones where Gilian Anderson approached hima nd questioned him with Sherrif Department, Gillian driving of course inice Buick thorugh the mountaintowns and seixzing him onsight. She has been knownd to stalk and follow D Unkneon on his adventures

Even if she does drive a Buick, Gillian Anderson can "seixz" us anytime. [iReport]

Send an email to Anna North, the author of this post, at annanorth@jezebel.com.