Help Me Choose An Outfit To Keep George Bush Away From My Womb

When George H.W. Bush said that "ugly" feminists don't have to worry about him becoming interested in their wombs, I knew I had to do something to make sure I was counted among their ranks.

I mean, I like high heels! I wear make-up and have a tendency to don low-cut shirts! Sometimes, I tie cherry stems in knots with my tongue while doing all of the above! It's entirely possible that H-Dub could look at me and think that I'm not-ugly enough to be worth penetrating with his throbbing manhood of former-Presidential power. I obviously need some help. So, I turned to Sadie, and now, as she has done before, we are turning to you. Help me pick out a Feminazi bonerkilling outfit that will make H-Dub's junk shrink back into his lower abdomen, leaving me to live my feminist-protesting, anti-patriarchy-caterwauling life in peace.

Help Me Choose An Outfit To Keep George Bush Away From My Womb


I like to call this "The Second Waver." You've got your obligatory glasses ("Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses!"), your vest over an anti-Bush T-shirt referencing cunnilingus, which give the outfit vague lesbian overtones, the long skirt to hide my obviously unshaven legs, and it's been paired with (if you can't tell) faux-suede clogs and mismatched socks. But can it do the trick?

SADIE SEZ: The vest makes it. If you omit a bra here, we might have a winner!

Help Me Choose An Outfit To Keep George Bush Away From My Womb

In homage to my father (yes, this is his actual nickname), I am calling this "The Butch." You've got your wife-beater paired with a baggy shirt (bonus points if you recognize the comic logo), baggy ripped jeans and some steel-toed boots. I put my hair up for extra androgyny.


SADIE SEZ: If at all possible, please accessorize with a rugged dog with a bandana around his neck.

Help Me Choose An Outfit To Keep George Bush Away From My Womb

Last up, I've got my homage to an earlier version of Stevie Nicks, completely with a long, flowy black skirt, multiple scarves, dated glasses and chunky Mary Janes (which I know Stevie doesn't wear because she's short than me, but I hear real feminists eschew heels altogether). I did manage to unearth a beaded choker, but I guess I lost all my crystal jewelry a while back. I decided the witch's hat was optional.

SADIE SEZ: This just cries out for dreamcatcher earrings! Def a crystal - to hold your energy, obvs - possibly contained in a tiny crochet pouch. And a vaguely ethnic boho bag, perhaps?! Very SF by way of Adams-Morgan, a veritable GWB Bermuda Triangle!

So which outfit will help me best avoid sexual objectification by at least one of our former Presidents? You decide.

Earlier: George H.W. Bush Wants Nothing To Do With "Ugly" Feminist Women
Some Women Will Do Anything To Justify A Shoe-Obsession
Marie Claire Dating Blogger Leaves Us Speechless
How To Tie A Cherry Stem In A Knot With Your Tongue
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Outfits provided by Megan's closet
Photography by Greg Hunter