When George H.W. Bush said that "ugly" feminists don't have to worry about him becoming interested in their wombs, I knew I had to do something to make sure I was counted among their ranks.
I mean, I like high heels! I wear make-up and have a tendency to don low-cut shirts! Sometimes, I tie cherry stems in knots with my tongue while doing all of the above! It's entirely possible that H-Dub could look at me and think that I'm not-ugly enough to be worth penetrating with his throbbing manhood of former-Presidential power. I obviously need some help. So, I turned to Sadie, and now, as she has done before, we are turning to you. Help me pick out a Feminazi bonerkilling outfit that will make H-Dub's junk shrink back into his lower abdomen, leaving me to live my feminist-protesting, anti-patriarchy-caterwauling life in peace.
I like to call this "The Second Waver." You've got your obligatory glasses ("Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses!"), your vest over an anti-Bush T-shirt referencing cunnilingus, which give the outfit vague lesbian overtones, the long skirt to hide my obviously unshaven legs, and it's been paired with (if you can't tell) faux-suede clogs and mismatched socks. But can it do the trick?
SADIE SEZ: The vest makes it. If you omit a bra here, we might have a winner!
In homage to my father (yes, this is his actual nickname), I am calling this "The Butch." You've got your wife-beater paired with a baggy shirt (bonus points if you recognize the comic logo), baggy ripped jeans and some steel-toed boots. I put my hair up for extra androgyny.
SADIE SEZ: If at all possible, please accessorize with a rugged dog with a bandana around his neck.
Last up, I've got my homage to an earlier version of Stevie Nicks, completely with a long, flowy black skirt, multiple scarves, dated glasses and chunky Mary Janes (which I know Stevie doesn't wear because she's short than me, but I hear real feminists eschew heels altogether). I did manage to unearth a beaded choker, but I guess I lost all my crystal jewelry a while back. I decided the witch's hat was optional.
SADIE SEZ: This just cries out for dreamcatcher earrings! Def a crystal - to hold your energy, obvs - possibly contained in a tiny crochet pouch. And a vaguely ethnic boho bag, perhaps?! Very SF by way of Adams-Morgan, a veritable GWB Bermuda Triangle!
So which outfit will help me best avoid sexual objectification by at least one of our former Presidents? You decide.
Earlier: George H.W. Bush Wants Nothing To Do With "Ugly" Feminist Women
Some Women Will Do Anything To Justify A Shoe-Obsession
Marie Claire Dating Blogger Leaves Us Speechless
How To Tie A Cherry Stem In A Knot With Your Tongue
Solicitations: Help Me Choose A Meet The Parents Outfit
Solicitations: Help Me Choose A Holiday Party Outfit
Outfits provided by Megan's closet
Photography by Greg Hunter