Joaquin Rapping? We're Getting Punk'dS

More of an "art project," in which he's pretending to have a meltdown and change careers. While bro-in-law Casey Affleck films it all. [EW]

  • Amy Winehouse. Topless. Playing Scrabble. [The Sun]
  • Oh no: Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, is making robocalls for Scientology. Using Bart Simpson's voice, and saying, "Hey, this is Bart Simpson — Just kidding!" This is bad news bears. [Perez]
  • Gary Oldman has a simple explanation for how he came to accept Heath Ledger's SAG award: "We went for a wonderful meal with [Heath's] family in New York, we got on very well. [Later] they called and said, 'Would I pick it up for [Heath] if he won?'" [Mirror]
  • Did Kate Winslet "blow her chance" to win an Oscar by forgetting Angelina Jolie at the Golden Globes? [Telegraph]
  • The parents of two kids in Slumdog Millionaire claim the movie may be making millions, but they continue to live in "grinding poverty." One father says: "I am very happy the movie is doing so well, but it is making so much money and so much fame and the money they paid us is nothing." [Telegraph]
  • More Slumdog issues: A social activist in Mumbai has filed a complaint in a local court against director Danny Boyle, saying the film's title is damaging and discriminating. The guy has also named some stray dogs after the Danny Boyle and the stars of the film. He explains: "When the British ruled India, they called Indians 'dogs'. Why do we want to call these poor children 'dogs' 60 years after we got independence?" [Yahoo News via Reuters]
  • Jessica Simpson's workout 2005 video was squashed by Big Daddy Joe Simpson, but if you follow this link you'll find a clip from the tape and audio from Jessica's business manager, in which he calls Jess a bitch and Joe an asshole. [Defamer]
  • Guy Ritchie's dad, John, is pretty damn pleased his son is not with Madonna anymore. He tells In Touch: "The worst thing would be if they reconciled" and he's happy Madge has "lots of boyfriends" since it means she'll leave Guy alone. He also says: "There are no big arguments between them. All they discuss is the children." [Perez]
  • Will Paris Hilton hit on Prince Harry now that he's single? "I think he's a nice guy, I love Chelsy though - I think she's so sweet - so I wouldn't try anything." [Telegraph]
  • Why did Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy break up? Maybe time and distance pulled them apart. Maybe the relationship had "run its course." [People]
  • Wait a minute: Kate Middleton is allergic to horses? Does polo-playing Prince William know? Does the Queen know? [Daily Mail]
  • Whoa: Kelly Rowland has fired manager Matthew Knowles, who's always been like a dad to her. Was she sick of playing second banana to Beyoncé? [Bossip]
  • Michael Jackson has serious, serious problems, including massive debt and, um, the Thriller musical. [Fox 411]
  • Salma Hayek and Harvey Weinstein threw a Hollywood Hills bash to honor Penelope Cruz's Oscar nod, and everyone was there: Scarlett Johansson and hubby Ryan Reynolds, Ashton Kutcher and wife Demi Moore, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, Antonio Banderas and wife Melanie Griffith, Charlize Theron and partner Stuart Townsend, and Angela Bassett and hubby Courtney B. Vance. Oh, and Colin Farrell. And Prince. ScarJo has dark hair now. [Gatecrasher]
  • Catherine Zeta-Jones has homegrown kitchen beauty secrets: Honey and salt to exfoliate; beer shampoo; apple or strawberry for toothpaste. [Daily Mail]
  • Apparently, when Jessica Alba called Bill O'Reilly "kind of an a-hole," he shot back and called her a pinhead for telling a reporter to "Be Sweden about it," assuming she meant Switzerland. Alba blogged on her MySpace: "Last week, Mr. Bill O'Reilly and some really classy sites (i.e.TMZ) insinuated I was dumb by claiming Sweden was a neutral country. I appreciate the fact that he is a news anchor and that gossip sites are inundated with intelligent reporting, but seriously people... it's so sad to me that you think the only neutral country during WWII was Switzerland." Turns out Sweden was neutral and Alba was right. And O'Reilly is an a-hole. [MSNBC]
  • Who comes from royalty? Whose family owned slaves? Sarah Jessica Parker and Susan Sarandon will star in NBC's genealogy reality series Who Do You Think You Are? Lisa Kudrow is executive producing the show, which explores celeb ancestral histories. [Reuters via Hollywood Reporter]
  • The ladies pictured with Russell Brand yesterday have spoken to the press. "Russell took his clothes off as soon as we got through his front door. He was definitely wanting a threesome — and he thought he was going to get one," says the one who was wearing a blue onesie and white stilettos for the night. The women left because they "had a photoshoot." Russell gave the paper a different version of events: "Those women were at Brand Towers as they assured me they were qualified engineers and could fix my washing machine. I only took my clothes off 'cos I wanted to bung a load in. The washing machine is still broke but my clothes are remarkably unstained." [Daily Mail]
  • Keith Olbermann, Tyra Banks, Suze Orman, Gus Van Sant, k.d. lang, Ellen DeGeneres and Rachel Maddow: All nominated for GLAAD awards. [Page Six]
  • NYC socialite Olivia Palermo wants to be a serious actress. That's why she is on The City, a "reality" show. [Page Six]
  • Blind item! "Which married Oscar winner was caught pants- down in a club closet, getting naughty with a tranny? The waitress who walked in on the pair was so stunned, she dropped her drink tray." [Gatecrasher]
  • Hotel mogul and Las Vegas billionaire Steve Wynn has split with his wife Elaine. [Page Six]
  • Private Practice/Grey's Anatomy crossover alert! Kate Walsh, Audra McDonald and Taye Diggs will be on the February 12 episode of Grey's. [UPI]
  • Kylie Minogue has recorded a song with kiddie band The Wiggles, because she has a 2-year-old nephew she wants to impress. "Now Charles really will think I’m cool," she says. "I hope he likes the song. It was fun to do. I might even grab a shirt and go on tour with the boys. I’m not sure what colour I will be." [The Sun]
  • Debbie Matenopoulos's ex-husband claims she "pays for nothing" related to their multimillion-dollar Los Angeles home. He's demanding that she help pay the mortgage, agree to refinance, or move out and sell the home. He also admits that they both "continuously lived beyond our means during our marriage." Messy business! [People]
  • Paul McCartney's publicist on the Paul McCartney wedding rumor: "No truth to it." [Yahoo News via E!]
  • 50 Cent's manager is among the many who lost money via Bernie Madoff. How much? "Nothing to talk about. It's not life-threatening." [Page Six]
  • Lauren Hutton was seen yelling at her help. [Page Six]
  • Gene Simmons has signed on with Universal Music Canada and created his own record label, Simmons records. He writes: If you’re reading this and you’re in a Canadian band (only!!!)….and you believe you’re the next Elvis or Beatles (don’t we all…)…go to SIMMONSRECORDS.COM and we will tell you how YOU can submit your electronic demo. This is serious.” Well okay then. [Rolling Stone]
  • Noel Gallagher says Oasis saved him from a life of crime: "There’s one less criminal in Burnage because I picked up the guitar. There’s one less shoplifter in Manchester." [The Sun]
  • Michael Crichton left money to tons of people in his will. [TMZ]
  • Isla Fisher has joined the cast of Rango, a Gore Verbinski-directed animated flick about a pet who goes on an adventure; Johnny Depp is the lead voice and Abigal Breslin has also been cast. [Variety]
  • Chic people like Liz Goldwyn, Emmanuelle Seigner and Lou Doillon were at the Givenchy show in Paris, and you were not. [WWD]
  • What do we think about Solange covering a Coldplay song? [Concrete Loop]
  • This was bound to happen: Kanye West has changed his name. You may now call him Martin ‘Louis’ The King Jr., because he has his own Louis Vuitton shoes now. [Pop Crunch]
  • "Love and light is mentioned a lot on the album. Parts of it are dark and edgy. It could be because I’ve been through a dark place. I am a man who needs love. Every man needs love, guys like romance. I do anyway." — Paul McCartney on his latest album, and maybe that "dark place" is the soul of Heather Mills. [The Sun]
  • "That sweat is real and there is a lot of it. I said, 'Listen, we're going to show me exactly as I am and I'm going to sweat. Just towel me up.' Luckily, I had good waterproof makeup on and my hair stayed looking kind of cute. But that's the real deal. I'm sweating like a pig." — Lisa Rinna on her workout DVD. [Parade]
  • "For five seasons I was stuck doing this character. It was kind of hard always having to play that character when it's not who I am… I just say jokes but people think I'm serious which I think is funny and I think I kind of play up to the image sometimes because - whatever - it's entertainment." — Paris Hilton. [Mirror]
  • "My typical morning these days would be to get up at 6:30am, make breakfast, get Beatrice up, get her dressed and watch some TV. I don't have a nanny I do all the regular stuff myself. I take her to school, talk to all the mums, talk to the teacher then pick her up from school. I love every second of it and I'm not exhausted at all. People say, I'm up at 6:30am, what is going on? But I genuinely love it. It's a thrill bringing up a young kid, it's such an education. I am a different dad now but it's good." — Paul McCartney, 66, on life with a five-year-old. [Telegraph]
  • I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News. All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard. Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend? I seriously doubt it. How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure? Now can we focus on the things that really matter." — Ashlee Simpson. [ONTD via MySpace]