Want Good Sex? Date A Drunk!

According to the Daily Mail, "low risk" drinking (that's roughly 4 tipples a day - God bless the Brits) actually makes men better lovers. So pour him another. In the name of your sexual satisfaction!

The study, which surveyed over 1,500 Australian men, found that drinkers — even binge drinkers — reported lower rates of erectile dysfunction than teetotallers. Smokers, men who suffered from heart disease, and former drinkers who were on the wagon admitted to more problems with so-called "brewer's droop." (And how I love that term. Much less crass than "whiskey dick," don't you think? It sounds like something you could comfortably discuss with your mother/neighbor/clergyman.)

Sayeth the Mail: "These findings suggest a favourable association between low-risk drinking and positive erectile function."

Lest you find the Mail a specious source of sexual science, New Scientist also reports on these findings, but cautions that it is "socially irresponsible" to think binge drinkers get an immediate benefit. Moderate drinking may simply "protect against impotence in the long term."

So there you go. Forget all your "personal anecdotal evidence" about perpetually smashed frat boys and their propensity for limp, wheezing, sometimes tearful post-Beer-pong seduction sessions. They were simply investing in their long-term sexual health. This is science. After all, why would bunch of hard-drinking Australian men lie about their sexual performance?

Alcohol Makes Men BETTER In the Bedroom, Scientists Claim [Daily Mail]
Alcohol Stops Men Being A Flop In Bed [New Scientist]