Anna Wintour Is Not The Apple Of Obama's Eye

Anna Wintour is probably not headed to Paris, Roland Burris really wanted to be headed to the Senate, David Paterson doesn't know who he wants, Israel is still bombing Gaza and I need coffee.

New York is apparently awash in rumors that Vogue editrix Anna Wintour is in the running to be named the U.S. Ambassador to France which were all sparked by a terse "No comment" by the Obama team to an out-of-the-blue inquiry by Page Six Magazine. Of course, with relations with Iran high on the agenda and a 225+ year relationship to repair (they backed us in the Revolutionary War, remember?), the natural choice for the brainiac Obama Administration would be a fashion magazine editor all but pilloried in the book and movie The Devil Wears Prada. Also, naturally, Hillary Clinton — who rather famously backed out of appearing in Vogue last year and then was herself pilloried by La Wintour — would have nothing to say about it either. Either way, it's slightly more believable that the new Spider-Man storyline featuring Obama, his imposter and Spidey at the Inauguration (though such an occurrence might make that worth attending). And it's way more plausible that Levi Johnston's addict mother Sheri's story that she got addicted to oxy after her hysterectomy and that's why she was selling it. Honey, we've all watched Intervention, and we're not buying.

Sheri's co-grandparent is back in the news (one might say she never left), having made a video for a right-wing nutjob about how the media — as opposed to millions of unReal Americans — elected Obama. Sadly, I have to agree that it is probably legitimately upsetting as a parent to be accused of not giving birth to your own child and to have it suggested that you are forcing your daughter to marry. I'm also a little concerned that I find myself agreeing that Caroline Kennedy, despite having been potentially deemed unqualified, isn't facing that same level and kind of criticism and when Sarah Palin said "there is a class issue here," I went, yeah, actually, there's kind of is and maybe that is part of the crap she took. But maybe I just need coffee.

David Paterson isn't as concerned about Caroline Kennedy's money as he is about her "pluses and minuses", which he identifies as her relationship with Obama and her lack of legislative experience, respectively. He thinks he's got "10 to 15 good candidates" to look at appointing, including the ones who turned in their mega-disclosure forms (which Andrew "Shucking And Jiving Is Not A Racist Term" Cuomo isn't saying whether he did or not but he so did).

Obama is already in trouble with the legislative branch, having only just barely left it and not yet joined the executive, over his stimulus package because that thing where Republicans say that Democrats hate tax cuts? Yeah, it turns out that's kind of true. Whoops. Obama's the only one that's got that change you said you wanted to believe in, but Tim Geithner is planning on changing the bail-out's focus from giving money to Henry Paulson's personal friends to giving it to people that are fucked by Henry Paulson's personal friends, so there's that anyway.

Other people fucked by this economy are Norm Coleman, who's about to be unemployed and has been locked out of his damn office, and noted torture advocate Alberto Gonzales, who for some strange reason can't find a job! It must be the economy. I mean, at least he's not saying that white people are more racist than they think they are and help perpetuate racism by not confronting it in other white people, though that's totally true. Bobby Rush would probably use that to try to get Roland Burris seated, but, then, actually, unsurprisingly it turns out that Roland Burris was all up in the shit with one of Blago's pet lobbyists/bribers named in his indictment like I've pretty much been saying for the last week. Whoops.

Also up in the shit are the Israelis, who are now accused of bombing people they successfully evacuated first, killing relief workers and continuing to fight despite the supposed cease-fire. But there's only 11 days until Obama is inaugurated and they have to finish their important work by then or they might be credibly asked to stop doing bad things by an American president! Who, in fact, has already said he might talk to Hamas and mended fences with Anne Hathaway.