When Madonna Falls In Concert, Does She Make A Sound?

• Video of Madonna falling yesterday during a concert in Brazil. She played it off, did a yoga stretch, then proceeded to French kiss a dancer dressed in Like-A-Virgin-duds, so everything's cool. [The Life Files, PopSugar]

• By the by, it looks like Guy Ritchie is getting around $76 to $92 million from Madonna in the divorce settlement. No wonder he's been looking so giddy lately! [AP]
• Her rep says Michelle Williams will not be accepting awards for Heath Ledger if/when he gets any at the Golden Globes or beyond. TMZ]
• For some reason, Brooks Brothers wants you to know that yes, they make the tie that is touching Jennifer Aniston's breasts on the cover of GQ. They announced this news with an email which read, "BROOKS BROTHERS 'TIES UP' JENNIFER ANISTION ON THE COVER OF JANUARY 2009 GQ." How S&M! [Jezebel Inbox]
• Twilight author Stephanie Meyer promises that despite a new director, the next movie, New Moon will be "as close to the book as possible." So… bad, then? [E!]
• The good news is Rachael Ray might not have to get vocal surgery; the bad news is that means that she can keep chatting away. Does anyone else find her voice grating? [People]
• Whoopi Goldberg will star in Stream, a sci-fi miniseries on FearNet the web and on demand. She'll play a haunted woman who resides in a psychiatric facility, but because of a drug she took as a teenager, experiences various stages of her life past and present at the same time. Isn't this called Alzheimer's? [MediaWeek]
• Mott's first ads in more than a decade will use Marcia Cross to shill applesauce and tap into the Desperate Housewife demo. Uh, sexy? [BrandWeek]
• Sam Mendes talks about what it was like to direct his wife, Kate Winslet, in Revolutionary Road: "I would open my eyes in the morning and there Kate would be, going, 'Great! You’re awake! Now let’s talk about the second scene.' She loves to bring home work. She wants to talk about literally every full stop and comma, and so I realized that for 24 hours a day I had to basically treat her like my leading actress." [W]
• Filmmaker Dino De Laurentis thought Meryl Streep was "too ugly" to be in the 1976 flick King Kong, and said so, in front of her, in Italian. Little did he know that Streep had been studying the language. "When I replied in Italian," she says, "he looked like he had been shot." In any case, role went to Jessica Lange. Oh, and this paper's headline makes it seem like Streep was too fug to play King Kong, which is just mean. [Daily Express]
• Brody Jenner says he and the contestants on his new MTV reality show Bromance actually cry: "I did this whole sit-down with these guys, which we called Broprah," Jenner says. "I was sitting around and would say, 'OK, now tell me about...' and then all of a sudden it got to be like, 'Whoa!' We're uncovering some deep stuff. These big, grown guys are sitting around crying over being friends with a dude." Give the kid a fucking medal. [E!]
• Russell Crowe will no longer pour cash into the rugby team he owns, because it's time for "the business to stand on its own." [League HQ]
• This was in last week's Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Jennifer Aniston loves Pokies, the plastic nipples you slide into your bra. A source claims: "They really make the most of her assets when she's wearing a tight top." Eyeroll. [Star]
• Melrose Place and One Tree Hill on the CW? Snooze. [E!]
• Talk about assy: Marlon Brando and Robert Duvall used to moon people on the set of The Godfather. [Daily Express]
• Remember when Julia Ormond was going to be the Next Big Thing? She's back, after 10 years. "I needed breathing space," she says. [NY Mag]
• "The best gift to give is one where you actually listen to the person's desires and you think of them months before any kind of gift is actually needed—that's the best kind of gift there is: a thoughtful one. My favorite gift I've received is my dog—a chocolate lab named Esmerelda." — Anne Hathaway. [Elle.com]
• "We live in more of a pussy generation now, where everybody's become used to saying, 'Well, how do we handle it psychologically?' In those days, you just punched the bully back and duked it out. Even if the guy was older and could push you around, at least you were respected for fighting back, and you'd be left alone from then on." — Clint Eastwood. [Esquire]

Send an email to Dodai, the author of this post, at dodai@jezebel.com.

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