The Worst PR Pitches Of The WeekS

We get hundreds and hundreds of emails every day, and sometimes there are terrible, annoying missives from public relations people which trigger angry, emotional responses we usually keep to ourselves. Except for today:

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Pete Wentz's Favorite Thing: Ashlee's Breasts

I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THIS.

The wild success of Sex & the City. The marriage of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. The constant attention paid to Jennifer Aniston’s love life. The selection of Halle Berry as the “Sexiest Woman Alive .” And now the re-launch of Urbancougar.com.

The approach of the Four Horsemen. Wait, we're naming signs of the apocalypse, right?

WHAT MIGHT YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH OPRAH WINFREY AND CAROLINE KENNEDY?
IF YOU ANSWERED JIGGLY ARMS FLABuLESSU.com HAS THE SOLUTION

What could I possibly have in common with successful women? Oh, right: Arm fat. Fuck you. Wait! This one comes illustrated, with a helpful red arrow:

The Worst PR Pitches Of The WeekS

Brain exploded, brb.