Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century

All dating columns should be cancelled until we evolve a new kind of genitalia or start dating on Jupiter, because they continue to rehash the same tired ideas from the past decade. Today, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer's "Single Shot" columnist writes about people who dump significant others for Seinfeldian reasons, like because they oversalt their food or have bad hair. Do we really have to tell you that if you're dumping someone because of their sodium levels you probably never really liked him to begin with?

More than it reminds me of Seinfeld, it reminds me of the 1993 Mike Myers vehicle So I Married An Axe Murderer. At the beginning of the film, Myers' character is having trouble committing to any relationship, so he finds ridiculous reasons to dump very nice women, i.e., "She smelled like soup." This is only significant insofar as to remind you of the one other similarity between So I Married An Axe Murderer and Seinfeld: they're almost 15 years old. Get it together, dating columnists! I will leave you with this one marginally amusing anecdote from a very picky woman named Hope from the article

I've called it quits because of the way they breathed, because their face was greasy, because they were a Republican, because they were too timid, because they asked too many questions, because they wore the same outfit twice and because I dreamt that they were Tattoo from 'Fantasy Island.

Of course, it's ironic 'cause her name is Hope, and she is entirely hopeless.

"Single Shot: Need A Reason To Break Up? 'Seinfeld' Has You Covered [Seattle PI]