"It has been a living hell." The premise of the bestseller Not Quite What I Was Planning — now deluxed and re-released for the holidays — is simple: sum up your life in six words. The results run the gamut from poignant — "On the playground, alone. 1970, today" — to needlepoint-pillow: "It got better after middle age." It's a surprisingly entertaining and telling game, as the contributions reveal. Match the celeb to his memoir*, after the jump!

1. "Well, I thought it was funny."

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2. "Liars, hysterectomy didn't improve sex life!"

3."Revenge is living well, without you."

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4. "Maybe you had to be there."

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5. "Secret of life: marry an Italian."

a) Joan Rivers b) Roy Blount Jr. c) Nora Ephron d) Stephen Colbert e) Joyce Carol Oates *

As in so many things, what's revealing is less the words than the spirit. Personally, I'm torn between, "Hey, what fresh hell is this?" ;"Butter is my one true love"; and "Life story: ur doin it rong."

*1d, 2a, 3e, 4b, 5c.

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People's Memoirs. Six Words. Surprising Results. [USA Today]