Dudes: Cut The Crap, Cut Your Ball Hair

I never get that offended by guys who have pube preferences for the women they date - unless they are militant about bald vaginas - because I understand the dislike of a mouthful of long, coarse hair. And that's why I recently told my man that he needed to do something about that giant, overgrown mass between his legs that looked more like the front yard of Grey Gardens than a crotch. There are a ton of gender double standards that drive me up a wall, but the widespread social acceptance of unruly, unmaintained male pubes is something we can easily change with one simple sentence:

"I would lick and suck on your balls if you trimmed them."

That's what I told my boyfriend. He was definitely into the idea of getting his balls licked, but I could tell that he was less enthused about taking something sharp to the region of his body he holds most near and dear. But luckily for him, I'd already invested in mini Norelco electric clippers set for my own pubes-a painless, controlled system of hair removal-that I offered for his use. Besides, I didn't want him to get completely bald down there, because it would look weird and gay porno-y.

But he didn't know how to use the clippers, or at least pretended not to know how so that I would do it for him. Which I gladly did. And which he treated as foreplay. I have to say that giving him head is a lot more enjoyable now that I don't get finger-length hairs caught in the back of my throat. And I think that now he's getting his balls licked on a more frequent basis, he would agree with our results. See, social change can be fun for everyone!